chapter 6 Pictures available (2-24-2009)
Table of Contents-
Story Arc: Nex quod Vita
Chapter 1: Stay Awake- Song: Mad World by Gary Jiles
Part 1: 09/07/2008 LINK (http://sc4devotion.com/forums/index.php?topic=4248.msg178590#msg178590)
Part 2: 10/06/2008 LINK (http://sc4devotion.com/forums/index.php?topic=4248.msg186994#msg186994)
Part 3: 10/20/2008 LINK (http://sc4devotion.com/forums/index.php?topic=4248.msg191582#msg191582)
Chapter 2: In the Blink of an Eye- Song: Brick by Ben Folds Five
10/25/2008 LINK (http://sc4devotion.com/forums/index.php?topic=4248.msg193108#msg193108)
Chapter 3: World Turning Upside Down- Song: I Will Remember You by Sarah McLachlan
11/12/2008 LINK (http://sc4devotion.com/forums/index.php?topic=4248.msg198539#msg198539)
Chapter 4: Unplanned Atonement- Song: Angel by Sarah McLachlan
In Progress
Side Story: Amestria
Chapter 1 & 2: On Hold 04/07/2008 LINK (http://sc4devotion.com/forums/index.php?topic=4248.msg136970#msg136970)
:bomb: Author's Disclaimer, Rules, and General Rants :bomb:
1) Yes, I'm going to have gay scenes, drugs, alcohol, prostitiution (nothing it too deep of detail) and all the evils of life you'd find in a normal city. If you don't like them, nobody is forcing you to read it. Simple as that.
2) Flaming. Why do people feel the need for this? Why? Do I make rude comments on your CJ/MD? I didn't think so. So show me the same respect.
3) I''m not paying for your therapist, nor am I paid to be yours. So if something upsets you, don't whine about it or your life on this space. That's what state-run mental health hotlines are for. (Yes.... I've really had people do this in the past.)
4) I'm open to constructive critism. I love it, I thrive off it. Tell me if you want to see something, or even if you just notice a mistake.
5) Don't advertise your stuff on my stuff. I don't do that to you. And if you do it to me (unless of course you have my permission to do so), for one, I'm blacklisting you, and two, I'm going to rant about it on your CJ/MD.
On a side note, I will continue Amestria kind of as a side plot here in this CJ/MD. It's probably not going to be mentioned that much as Timbervale is my new pet project (and hopefully will be for a while).
What a way to start a new live.... Stephen King could learn from you :thumbsup:
That's a great first chapter! And like the pictures of the air plane! The first one is fantastic!
Great work on it! :thumbsup:
Looking forward to the second chapter of Amestria! ;)
Hopefully this one won't have zombies :P Excellent start though! :thumbsup:
This wouldn't, perchance, have some FMA influences, now, would it? ;)
Great start, looking forward to more.
OooooooO now this is defintly a twist Jacob, a story about a brat and his PM of a Dad hmmm now this has to be intresting and I do mean it.... Im hooked and I cant wait to see the next chapter and any song guesses this time around?
Haha, when I saw that first shot I thought the plane was actually as big as the entire airport. :P But then I looked again and saw that it was up in the air. ::)
Looks good though, nice first update.
Very good :D
Where do you find the modd for the rain??? ()what()
Heh...
Well, due to overwelming replies.... it looks like this story is here to stay. I firgured I'd take a page from Ian's (zelgadis) book and give character introductions here (Note to Ian: Sorry.... not trying to rip off your ideas... it's just so darned good I had to copy). Also, makes it easier for people to imagine the individual characters... and add eye candy for all you anime fans out there. (Yes... it's anime themed.... shame on me...)
So, introducing the characters we've met so far:
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Edward Hoenbell
Age: 17
Siblings: None
Edward, who happens to be the Prime Minister of Amestria's son, if forced to move to Amestria from the US when his mother and brother die in a tragic accident. Edward tends to despise his father due to the fact that he generally has ignored him his entire life and not even showing up at his mother and brother's funeral.
Having none of his few childhood friends with him, he's generally hot-tempered to hide the fact that he is lonely. Also, he's extremely sensitive about his height, a mere 5'2" (157.5cm) and gets teased constantly about it.
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Madame Secretary Lai Misomia
Age: 25
Siblings: None
Lai, usually referred to as Madame Secretary, is the Prime Minister's personal secretary. It's her duty in the nation to work with the Prime Minister, and with Edward's arrival, make sure the PM's son doesn't get into trouble.
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So... that's everyone....
Time for some replies:
sebes: King couldn't live up to my awesomeness :P
bat: Well, expect is to be sometime this week if I have my way!
Yoman: The trailers said that there wouldn't be. Trailer's don't lie..... Wait a sec.... :P Honestly thoguh, this one won't be involving zombie if I can help it.
Toichus Maximus: I have no idea what you're talking about. :-[ Hehehe....
Pat: Possibly. I haven't decided yet. Most likely if I can manage it.
Mulefisk: Gah! Giant planes from Mars! Hey now... that might be a good plot.... :P
Simpson: No modd... just some photoshopping. That's all. :)
Well, that's all for today peoples. Look forward to the next chapter (or maybe even a trailer -nudge nudge-) coming out later this week. Should have the pictures ready in about a day or two if things go well.
Jacob
Jacob those so far are very intresting charater bio's.... I cant wait for the next update...
Very interesting way to make a MD. I'm not much of a reader but I think I will try to follow this one.
Robin :thumbsup:
Nice introducing of the characters there! And again looking forward to chapter 2! ;)
Hey Jacob I see you changed a few things here lol and I like the new pics, btw I want windsor park back!!!
Heh, the wet weather looks pretty impressive.
Love the story and well, since this is only the beginning, can't wait till the next update.
-Chapter 1 Moved Here-
Ok.... so it's now Spring 2008. And I guess, as I promised to those of you who read Windsor Park (hopefully ;) ), I'd be releasing this.
I've only got Chapter 1 set up and written right now, so I guess you all will have to read that....
I guess a few warnings are in place....
Beware annoying bratty teenagers with ill-tempers to be common place in the plot. Also, things will be getting PG-13 in here, so if you can't handle that.... you shouldn't be on this site :P
Other than that, I'm going to be just writing the story as I go... and, well, enjoy!
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"As we begin our final descent, we ask that you return your seat and tray to the upright position. Please make sure all baggage is secured properly and all electronic devices are shut off at this time. We will be landing shortly in Amestria."
Ignoring as the announcement on the intercom started again in another language, Edward turned his attention to the window on his right, looking at the wide green valley and giant airport below the rapidly descending aircraft.
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It had been nearly 12 hours since he'd gotten on to the plane, and his legs were slowly getting numb. He muttered to himself, regretting not getting up like he was told to before the flight, and knew that he'd be limping off the airplane considering the slightly prickling feeling creeping p his thighs.
"Ugh! Can't they just land the plane already!?" he griped out loud, kicking the seat in front of him, much to the annoyance of the stranger sitting in front of him.
"Edward, quit whining," the older girl next to him growled, "I'm tired of listening to you complain about moving and the plane trip."
"So what?" he shot back, turning to look at her with a perturbed look on his face, "It's not like you had to leave all your friends and move to some stupid place. You've been living here for years."
Rolling her eyes, she turned away from her annoying younger companion.
"You know, you could make the best of it," she muttered, gripping the handrails of her seat as a low rumbling shook the plane.
"Jeez," Ed sighed, smirking as his she paled with the sudden rumbling and shaking of the airplane, "Haven't you heard of landing gear and turbulence?"
"Just shut up," she gasped, bringing her hand to her mouth, "Or I'm going to vomit all over your tiny shoes."
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"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THEY COULD HAVE BEEN AN OOMPALOOMPA!??" he screamed out, making most of the crowded cabin turn around and stare at him.
"Well, I don't remember saying that, but if you say so..." she said, smirking at finally scoring an insult against him.
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As the plane landed on the runway, slowed to a halt and made its way to the appropriate gate, the two sat in silence, Ed shooting death glances at the woman next to him.
As the engines slowly whined down to a stop, the cabin lights turned back on, and its passengers stood up.
"On behalf of the flight crew, we thank you for flying with us here at British Airways. Local time is 14:25 and the weather outside is a balmy 15.56°C with heavy showers in the Greater Valley Area. Cabin crew, please begin arrival procedures."
"So, I've arrived in hell," Edward scowled, looking out the small window to the men in raincoats on the tarmac, "And it's raining."
"Yes Ed, hell is rainy," she replied, and to add further insult to her previous comment, "And you're the one wearing the grocery bag as a poncho."
Turning to her, he squinted his eyes, and balled his fists at his sides.
"I am so not qualifying that with an answer..." he replied, the cold hatred easily heard in his voice.
Grabbing their bags from the compartment above their heads, she handed Ed his suitcase as she grabbed her own.
"Come on," she called behind her following the crowd of people making their way to the door on her left, "Gretna is waiting out in the car, and I would rather not spend my day in the airport."
Though not admitting it out loud, Ed silently noted that he was lucky to be so short, and easily weaved through the people on the airplane, easily keeping pace with his much taller companion.
"Gretna?" he asked her, as they made their way to through customs and the baggage claim area, "Hasn't that evil dinosaur of a woman died off yet? She has to be what? 100 or 200 easily?"
"You know she'd poison your food if she heard you say that, right?" she called back to him, laying their passports on the small pad at the customs gate, as the information was quickly downloaded onto the screen in front of the agent.
Receiving a nod from the man, she grabbed them again, and they made their way out of the busy terminal, toward the black Lexus waiting just outside the doors, its lights on and windshield wipers going full speed against the pouring rain outside.
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As they stepped outside, running quickly to the car, Ed could feel himself getting thoroughly drenched.
Throwing their suitcases into the trunk of the black car, and jumping into backseat, Ed couldn't help but notice that he was indeed in hell, and that it was miserably rainy. And like any great hell, it had an all-powerful devil.
Unfornately for Ed, the devil, or in this case the Prime Minister, happened to be named 'Dad'.
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Well, thus concludes chapter 1 of Amestria!
Comments and questions are more than welcome, and don't forget to check out the Windsor Park MD for wonderful zombie fun!
Jacob
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Gah! Even more replies?! Well, before I get to those, I have a couple of pieces of news...
Windsor Park has been discontinued here on SC4D due to a rule about there being only 1 MD per person. It's still going to be available on ST, but can not be posted now at this site. I did have the option to have both in the same thread, but I spoke with some people, and everyone agreed with me that it would be too confusing have both in the same area.
I'll be posting direct links to ST for those of you that still read Windsor Park so that you can still keep up with updates.
Well, that's it.
Replies (continued):
Pat: Yeah... I took the idea from zelgadis' CJ on ST
rooker1: Thanks!
bat: Thanks!
Pat (again): I know.... but the admins won't let me. Not without making things much more confusing.
Shadow Assassin: Thanks!
And now....
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"Well...." The woman next to him replied as the black car pulled up to the sprawling grounds of the mansion, "What do you think of your father's home?"
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Staring at the giant home, he rolled his eyes and sighed.
"Do you think he's over compensating a little?" Edward smirked, proud at the jab he'd made at his non-present father.
Blushing slightly, the woman next to him looked away, holding back a small laugh.
As the car stopped in front of the massive front door of the estate, Edward unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the car door.
"This place is too big," he replied flatly craning his neck up trying to take in the massiveness of the place.
"Afraid you're going to get a little lost?" the young woman asked, opening the trunk to remove their bags.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO TINY THEY COULD USE A PANTRY AS A MASTER BEDROOM!?" he screamed, flailing his arms as his face turned to same shade as a ripe strawberry.
"You took that one way out of context, you know?" she sighed, shaking her head slightly at the sensitivity of the short blonde.
Huffing slightly, he grabbed his suitcase from her and walked towards the large front doors.
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Walking into the dimly lit, and utterly massive entry hall, Edward noted how each of his steps echoed in the eerily quiet manor.
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"Geez..." he muttered to himself, "Who would want to live in a place like this?"
"I'm guessing anyone that would be civilized," answered a shaky old voice with a strong accent.
"Oh... um... hi Gretna. How.... are you doing?" he asked, and adding an illegible scathing insult under his breath.
"I'm surprised that they let a filthy foreigner like you allowed you into my country." she replied dryly, not surprisingly having heard the scathing comment.
"Dried up old hag," Ed countered... his eyes squinting at the old woman.
"Spoiled little evil sh..." she began quickly getting cut off by the younger woman coming into the hall.
"Gretna... I see you've gotten to say hello again to the Prime Minister's son?" she replied, cutting off the next words coming out of the old woman's mouth.
"Yes Madame," she replied coldly glaring at Edward who was smiling at her, death glances shooting from his eyes.
"Come along Edward," the woman replied, rolling her eyes at the hate passing between the two, "I'll show you around the estate and show you where your room is."
As he followed the older girl around the house, he noted the sheer feeling of emptiness of each room and its adjoining halls, and how each room had a distinctive echo.
He noted to himself that he'd be extremely bored, and desperately hoped there was a good library or at least internet connection in the so-called palace.
Finally, she stopped in front of a room and opened the door for him.
"This will be your room," she said, beckoning him into the room and began showing him around. "Here is your closet... please don't mistake it for your main room..." she began, making a jab at his comment he made earlier that morning, "And your bathroom is here. You'll have a place for your computer here when you are here."
"What do you mean staying here?" he asked, trying to figure out what she meant. "Are you telling me that my bastard of a father has another frigging mansion?"
"No Edward. This is his governmental manor. The only one. But..." she continued, her face slowly turning to a smirk as she opened his closet and made room between the odd uniforms inside it.
"Ok... you not making sense," he replied, scratching his head, watching her riffle through the offending garments, "And why are there other people's clothing in my room. This place has to have more closets than just mine."
"Oh they're yours," she said, her smirk spreading even more across her face.
"I'm not wearing those here," he whined, clutching his suitcase closer to his side.
"Don't worry Ed, you won't be wearing them here," she replied, causing him to look at her with a confused look on his face.
"What do you mean I 'won't be wearing them here'?" the disappointment and hurt creeping into his voice, "Where would I wear them if not here?"
"Didn't I tell you?" she asked, trying to hide the evil laughter in her voice with an innocent look on her face, "You're going to a private boarding school. Your father said Gretna suggested it. Best in the country from what I hear."
"WHAT?!" he screamed, filling the empty hallways of the gigantic mansion, much to the delight of the old woman cleaning the entry hall below.
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Well, hope you all enjoyed the chapter! More probably next week!
Oh I would kill someone if I were sent to boarding school :P
Nice update!
gaaaaaah anther one of my post disappered thanks to moving lol..... Jacob wonderful update here and Yoman has it right on the head I would have killed if i was sent to boarding school... BTW any update's on WP?
That father's gigantic mansion is looking very great! Wonderful pictures of it there! Like the fog-effect!
Looking forward to more...
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New MD huh? Now I'll need more monkeys.
Great start on this one. :thumbsup:
OMG! I can't believe its been 2 months since I updated. Been working and getting ready for school... fixing my computer... and such and I've FINALLY gotten to updating!
Sorry for taking so long to update but now that I don't work every night, I look forward to being able to fit more freetime in around my homework and such.
And now....
Replies:
Yoman- Lol... so would I!
Pat- I've suspended WP for a while, not really feeling it, you know?
bat- Thanks!
xxdita- Lots of new monkeys!
Chapter 3: Torment
"Oh god... What the hell happened ... Where am I?" Ed muttered to himself as he opened his eyes, slowly regaining consciousness. Looking first to his left and then to his right, he began to realize that he was in the center of a normally busy highway.
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Looking around at the scene before him, his brain frantically tried to piece together his memories from minutes before, looking around at the dozens of cars strewn about the large highway, much like a set of toys from a young child's room. Walking around in the eerily calm area, he could hear the muffled screams from some of the people still trapped, while many other cars remained silent.
Looking down he could see large amounts of blood oozing down his left leg and right arm. Looking back up he realized he was standing in front of what was once the family car.
"HELP! SOMEONE!" he screamed out looking around at the carnage around him on the freeway.
Struggling to move his left leg and right arm, he made his way to the car. He looked inside the remains from the cabin and began to scream...
Waking up, drenched in sweat, Ed looked around where he was, slowly regaining the feeling in his now asleep leg and arm.
Turning to the clock beside the bed he noticed it read 1:30 in the morning.
He jumped as the door to his room opened up and Lai poked her head inside, hair tangled from sleep.
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"Edward?" she called out into the dark room, trying to make out his dark figure across the dimly lit space, "What's wrong? Are you ok?"
"Yeah..." Edward sighed, running his hand through his hair.
"Well," she continued, opening the door more to allow light to fall onto his bed, "I heard screaming from your room and I was worried."
She met her concern with silence, as Edward lay on his bed, slowly recovering from his overly realistic nightmare, trying desperately to slow his breathing and stop shivering.
"What happened?" she continued, concern spreading across her face, "You didn't have that nightmare again did you?"
"Yeah," Ed whispered, barely audible in the room, "I had that nightmare again. The one from that day."
Lai reached for the light switch next to the door, and flicking it on walked over to Ed's bed as he quietly began sobbing.
"Edward..." she said to him, sitting down on the edge of his bed, and reached for his hand. "You can't keep blaming yourself for what happened. It wasn't your fault and nobody blames you for it," she continued, looking at him with sympathy in her eyes.
"Yeah..." Edward said, continued between sobs, "Someone does. You know he does."
Having no reply to the supposed reference to his father, Lai sat in silence calming Edward as slowly he cried himself to sleep.
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"Who the hell says I have to wake up this early in the morning?!" Edward groaned, reaching for the piping hot cup of coffee in front of him looking at the remains of eggs, hash browns, and bacon in front of him.
"Well, Edward," Lai replied, trying desperately to not throw, in annoyance, the remains of her bagel with cream cheese at the still yawning teen "I don't exactly control the train schedules here."
"All your government power and you can't change something as simple as a train schedule?" Ed retorted, poking his fork into the small bowl of discarded cream and oatmeal, "Don't they trust you to figure something out like that?"
"Well, you're running short on time before we need to catch your train to the school," she replied, ignoring his previous comment, quickly adding "And before you even think about making a complaint about me calling you short... that was NOT directed at your height."
"Wow..." he replied, looking at her in dismay, "You learn fast."
"One more wise crack and I'm going to slip milk and horse tranquilizers in your coffee," she replied, looking at her watch as she got up and made her way to the door.
"You wouldn't dare ruin my perfectly good coffee," he gasped in mock seriousness, pulling his coffee several inches closer to his chest.
"No..." she replied, looking back at him from the doorway, "But Gretna happily would. And she does make all your food here."
Turning back around and walking out of the small breakfast room, she called out, "Now come on... we're leaving in ten minutes for the station in town."
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Grabbing his new leather school bag and pulling at the itchy new uniform, which he'd aptly named his monkey suit, Edward looked at the gleaming train before him, letting out a long whistle.
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"Geez, you Amestrians sure take your trains seriously, huh?" he said out loud looking over to Lai as she finished giving orders to the man in the black suit and dark glasses.
"Yeah," she replied, pulling out her thin, sleek cell phone and began typing a text out, "But this is the main form of travel across the country."
"And apparently your cell phones," he continued, pointing his finger at her phone as she put it back in her purse.
"Government issue," she replied, reaching further into her bag and tossing a shiny object at him, "And this is for you."
Catching it, he looked into his hands, and let out a small gasp.
"Geez!" he managed, turning the sleek, black and silver item around in his hands, "What is it?"
"Your phone..." she blandly replied, slightly pushing him forward as the small crowd on the platform made their way onto the train, "And I expect you to keep it on you at all times. I already transferred your contacts on there and it should be active now. It's got WiMax, unlimited text and calls, music and video, and even a video phone. Most importantly it has GPS. Just one of the few perks on having a governmental contract."
"Uh... wow...." he continued with a slight stutter, running his hand through his bangs and looking up at her, "Thanks! You really didn't have to... But why is GPS so important?"
"Because..." she replied, a slight smirk spreading on her face.
"Why?" he demanded, feeling an onslaught of jokes at his expense coming at him.
"Well..." she replied, waving her hand around at all the people around them, all of which were considerably taller than Ed, "How else could we find a bean sprout like you in a crowd like this?"
"Great..." he thought to himself before unleashing a torrent of insults at the significantly taller woman in front of him, "I'm clearly living in short people hell, and the devil's advocate has a damned twisted sense of humor."
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And to make up for my lack of updates.... some fun extras!
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Has it been that long? Seems like only a few moments to me. That freeway pile-up sounds bad, but I think that idiot in the station wagon sitting if front of a train might cause more damage. Keep up the eerily awesome fog effects.
Wow your city is magnifical and superb :D
Love the genral view :thumbsup:
And the best is it's realistic
;)
Daaaaaang Jacob that was one heck of long of a short update lol... sorry bad pun.... Im glad you gotten your computer running and your back too woohoo!!! I cant wait to see what the devil advocate does next...
Really should install some crossguards at those train crossings :P Everything is looking good, splendid little town.
Hey porter66083, I love your photo editing, it's quite proffesional, especially the first picture showing the car crash on the highway - it looks very dramatic. I love the BATs in your city, including the trees - they seem to keep your city alive!
I bet it would be lovely living in Xentione as almost every house has a swimming pool! Cant wait to see more of your work.
Alex
Nice new chapter 3 there!
Looking forward to the next...
Interesting story so far. :thumbsup:
Poor guy.
So he's been dragged across the world by his politician father, put into a private boarding school(which we know are evil, for instance Emperor Hirohito attended a military academy in El Paso, TX). Naturally he is being tracked too. Surely he'll learn to ditch the phone and stop by a ghetto prepaid phone store on his way home...
Hopefully you can squeeze in another update, we need story journals...
The story is shaping up nicely so far (I hope the next installment comes soon) and Xentoine is a remarkably bright and pleasant looking city compared to the picture being painted thus far in the story. It was an abrupt change when those pics hit. Good work on the story and the pics. Looking forward to more.
Just wanted to share some things with everyone....
Today I recieved an email from Youtube that UMG thought it to be ok to start using my Youtube videos as a place to cram full of advertisements since I used a 15 second music clip by one of their artists. Due to this, I don't really feel like making them money for advertising and as such have now pulled all videos off the site. If anyone wants to see them, let me know, and I'll email you a copy of the video.
Also, I'll be releasing an update later this week or so, so stay tuned!
Jacob
Sorry to hear you've pulled your videos, but I can understand the reasoning. I'm looking forward to the update though when you're ready for it.
-Matt
Interesting story line you have here. I've thought of adding some text to my diary but I do not have the ability with words you and others have. I like the last picture on page one a lot. Very nice work there. :thumbsup:
Talk about ultimate writers block. Seeing as I simply can't get this chapter to come out right at all, it looks like I'm not going to be updating Amestria for quite a while.
But.........
This gives me a chance to roll out a new MD (yes, I know, not allowed to have more than 1 MD, I'll close this one down). I'm in the works of doing something different and I want the opinion of all of you out there about my next project.
Tell me what you want to see and read. I want you all to give me an idea of what you'd like to read. A disaster? Romance? Comedy? Lots of explosions and war? A superhero flick even? Also, this is going to be a sort of choose your own adventure type of MD. I want you, the readers, to take the story where you want.
To help out, I have a city (its almost done cooking on the back burner) and even a fun new picture for you all to think on.
(https://www.sc4devotion.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg440.imageshack.us%2Fimg440%2F5530%2Ffairbrookemz0.jpg&hash=b23bb361e90d1b19f6140d2f02ebdc25a607d8f9)
Jacob
ooo anther Classic by Jacob and this time interactive hmm now this could be very well a classic indeed!!! I for one would love to go with a Hancock style :D aka superhero as it seems this summer is hot with them!!!
Nice MD, porter. I like the clouds in the newest shot. :)
-un1
A little "short" of ideas, are we? :P
Heheh. Like the city shot there...
Give comedy a try.
What about more of a character study? Don't focus so much on the plot as how the characters interact with each other and with the city that you're showcasing. Within that you, could weave almost anything--comedy, romance, even disasters and/or war. Just an idea.
Sorry to hear writer's block has set in, but I hope that you'll continue the story at some point (I don't think it would be bad to intersperse it among the pages here) but to answer your question:
Quote from: porter66083 on August 04, 2008, 04:02:40 PM
A disaster? Romance? Comedy? Lots of explosions and war? A superhero flick even?
The answer is yes.
In all seriousness though, considering the pic you've started with here, I'm sure it can start with something a bit dramatic. A mystery or spy thing perhaps, and I'll second thundercrack's idea too. My creative juices haven't started flowing yet, but I'll think about it, and I'll look forward to seeing what you come up with.
Thanks for all the replies!
I've decided on a name for the city.... see the picture below and the title. I'm almost done with the first city tile of it (funny thing is that is any of you remember Pine Grove, it was built on the same map :P), and I'll be ready to start writing my 'plot' soon.
And now, some nice eye candy to tide people over...
(https://www.sc4devotion.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg395.imageshack.us%2Fimg395%2F1619%2Ftimbervalesouthviewxo4.jpg&hash=88d27bda418af645bf75baea7d674f3e0b6a8bc1)
These two new night shots are looking really beautiful! :thumbsup:
And looking forward to TIMBERVALE... ;)
Timbervale, eh? Looks fantastic, Jacob!
I'll be looking forward to seeing where you're headed with it!
Good luck!
Dustin
Since I've been very terrible at keeping you all in the dark, I figured I'd post some more stuff and move things around.
As many of you can see, I've changed the title of the MD/CJ to Timbervale. (Hopefully no need for explanation anymore?) Also, I'm beginning to add a new table of contents on page one, along with my rants and personal rules. (Found here (http://sc4devotion.com/forums/index.php?topic=4248.0))
Look forward to having Chapter One soon... who knows, maybe it will even be ready after my vacation next week??
Jacob
Oh..... and I might as well throw some eye candy in here...
(https://www.sc4devotion.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg169.imageshack.us%2Fimg169%2F8151%2Ftimbervalemorningyd4.jpg&hash=5c3b2c160081af3983cc31c0bcd890f0277bf2f4)
This picture is superb and so réalistic &apls
That picture shows a really wonderful part of your nice city there!
Great work on it...
Looking forward to chapter one of Timbervale... ;)
Jacob you are soo mean lol but hey keep it up!!!! I love the teasers from my favorite MD author.....
You always have great urban pics. Good selection and good layout. I'm looking forward to the first chapter (whenever it's ready) and I'm waiting to see what form the new story will take. Out of curiousity, what is the building on the right side of the pond?
Very nice picture!
OK.... Done writing chapter 1 (coming in at a whopping 12 pages)
But, why post it right away?
Instead, here's a nice trailer to keep everyone occupied! :P
http://www.youtube.com/v/Cj4sGogqW1s
Just a side note: Volume of song went all screwy on crossing over to flash on Youtube so turn up your volume
Very nice vidéo :thumbsup:
All I can say is... wow. It's an interesting premise you have set up here, and the trailer was fantastic. I'm also impressed to hear you have 12 pages finished already. On that end, I also have a question, when you say we'll decide, will you be writing the story based on our comments and, if so, do you have a pre-planned story arc that will incorporate changes as the plot slowly works toward the end or do even you not know the end yet? Certainly looking forward to the story and your exceptional pics as well. Until then, take it easy.
-Matt
Wow. Where to begin with your comment Matt (you crammed a lot into three lines :-[)...
First of all, yes, I'm going to be starting out with a pre-written plot. I haven't fully decided on how many characters total there is going to be, and if there is too close of a vote (yes, people's votes will help decide how the plot continues) maybe more than one person will die.
Honestly, I have no idea how the arc is going to end. Only thing I know is that someone will, in fact, die. No idea yet. Honest. Keep in mind though, each chapter is going to have a live vs die for one particular character. So........
Chapter 1: Kill or keep character #1?
Chapter 2: Kill or keep character #2?
-and so on-
However has the highest kill number (or highest ratio if voting levels are low) will die. Ties will in fact count as both people dying, maybe....
Only thing I have planned out is how the person will die if they get the choice of death. But, you have to wait until I open voting before you choose, or else everything is going to get extremely confusing.
Hope that helped clear up some stuff!
Jacob
Well, um....
I was kinda hoping for more comments from that update.
I'll post the next update this week.... and its going to actually be part of chapter 1.
Comments are still welcome on the video...
I'm sorry I didn't post on that last little bit, I thought that was merely an explanation of the upcoming story, and I was waiting for it all to get started (which it seems it will shortly... good stuff). However, I like the interactive aspect of it, though it is very interesting what is being decided... I suspect however, that it will certainly draw some attention as it progresses. Looking forward to the start of things. Until then, take it easy.
-Matt
That's a very nice video there! Looking forward to the story...
(Great work there on that trailer!!!) :thumbsup:
OK.... I really am trying to get this chapter posted asap.....
So, to show you guys why its taking so long.... here's a sneak peek.
(https://www.sc4devotion.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg237.imageshack.us%2Fimg237%2F1904%2Fsneakpeekqv8.jpg&hash=3907697843542fc1ca20e89e5cc99bafd388413d)
Sorry, but if I showed you more, it would ruin the surprise..... but guesses are welcome....
Jacob
Very nice pic, Jacob! :P
I'm looking forward to seeing the pictures for Chapter 1 (well, I've seen that picture in its entirety, and proof-read chapter 1...)... :P
nice picture &apls
OK.... I'm FINALLY done with the pictures..... (and my computer is now ready to start crying when I load photoshop...) So, here's the first 4 pages of Timbervale!
(https://www.sc4devotion.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg122.imageshack.us%2Fimg122%2F8561%2Fchapter1headervv1.jpg&hash=3f5bc3bbab618bd26122c88e3e6ad7d5c4f73d38)
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Looking out the large window next to bed, Lukas looked out the window at the grey ominous sky as he pulled the navy blue t-shirt over his head; he once again felt the pain in his stomach, not only from not eating for almost 2 days, but also of worry.
"I don't think I like you drinking or hung over," he said aloud to the taller man standing across the bedroom from him.
"I don't see what your problem is..." the man continued, still glaring at Lukas as he continued toward the door and out into the hall, "You got what you wanted, didn't you?"
Lukas stared at him in utter confusion, trying to find out what exactly Brian had meant by his question.
"Come down when you're ready."
As he listened to the footsteps going down the stairs, Lukas felt completely dumbfounded. Something was very wrong, but he just couldn't put his finger on it. Picking up his remaining clothes scattered across the large bedroom, he took a quick look around the room. He never stayed longer than a night, and had always promptly returned to the small apartment he shared with his younger brother. He'd never been told he couldn't stay longer, and it wasn't as if his brother couldn't fend for himself. It had just always felt as if it was expected of him to go home the next morning.
Looking over at the closet in search of his socks, he noticed Brian's coat bunched up near the opening. Lazy as usual, he thought to himself as he donned his own pats, quickly put them on, and zipped them up. Walking over to the discarded coat, he promptly began to hang it in the closest on an available hanger. Placing it on the bar, he noticed Brian's favorite business suit, and in an act of slight indulgence, grabbed it and brought it to his nose, greedily taking in the scent.
He loved it, when coming home on the mornings after that he could smell him on his clothes, skin, and hair. He'd even at times not wash his clothes, wanting to keep the scent there for as long as possible. He knew it was stupid, but he simply couldn't help himself. When had he become such a sucker? His brother Sebastian would never let him live it down if he saw him like this.
Feeling as though he had loafed around enough, he put the suit back and walked over to the mirror to try and straighten his bed-tussled hair as much as he could. Giving up, he looked around for his watch before deciding that he could live without it until he came back again, and slid his socks on before walking down the stairs.
Walking down the stairs and into the living room, he walked around the corner in his socked feet looking to see what Brian was up to. Making his way to the kitchen, he watched as Brian fixed a cup of coffee, lifting his head slightly as Lukas' padded feet thumped on the wood floor. Without turning to look at him, he pointed to the counter.
"Drink it," Brian said coldly, as he pointed to the glass of milk sitting by itself on the counter.
Looking at the glass of milk, Lukas got a very disgusted look on his face and shuddered. Did he really expect him to drink that? It's disgusting and he had refused to drink the stuff ever since he was a kid, unless it was mixed in small amounts with other stuff. Surely, he thought to himself, Brian didn't honestly think he would drink it.
"Um... I don't do milk, remember?" he said looking at Brian.
"I did you, so drink the damn milk."
"You should already know even that won't get me to drink it," he cracked, trying to lighten the grim mood that had come with how Brian was talking to him with. The tone in his voice was extremely cold, and was really starting to irritate him.
"Fine. Don't drink it. I'm not your mother," Brian replied, grabbing his coffee and a muffin and walked into the living room.
Normally, he would have started screaming at him at the point, but trying to keep the peace, he followed Brian into the living room and started walking to the front door.
"Look, I don't know what your problem is, but you seem to be getting over your hangover just fine, so I'm going to leave," he sighed, reaching down to grab his shoes, "Send me a text if you need anything."
"It's rather telling, isn't it Luke?" came the cold, calm reply.
Turning around and glaring at the man sitting on the couch, it took everything he could not to start screaming at him. How could anyone not react to a statement like that? he thought to himself as he took a deep breath.
"I give you what you want, and you get angry at me for asking you to do something as simple as drink a glass of milk...for your own health. Your selfishness never ceases to amaze me..." said Brian, as he locked his eyes on Lukas while he sipped from his mug.
He felt instant anger. His face burned with it, and he breathed hard as if he'd been running. Turning around to face Brian, Lukas fought with himself for some measure of control. "I..." I will not be dragged into a fight, he thought. But, oh did he ever want to. Clenching his jaw over the rant that really wanted to run free, Lukas thought it would be best if he got out of here quickly before he said something he'd regret.
"I better go," he said stiffly. "Before I do something I'll regret later." Why was Brian provoking him like this? It was almost like he wanted to start a fight with him. He seemed to be pushing all his buttons, and he knew, that Brian knew, that he was quick to anger...so why? It didn't make sense and it only fueled his desire to get out of here before his mouth had a chance to run away from him.
Brian watched him through half-lidded eyes. "You do that, Lukas. You leave. I understand that you don't have full control over yourself," said Brian.
Lukas gasped as if the wind had been knocked out of him and took an involuntary step back. Lukas let out a shaky breath as his tenuous control over his temper started to slip. Both of Lukas' hands fisted at his side. Well yeah... he thought. So why was Brian doing this?
After a pause Brian continued. "It must be hard on you, knowing that you're not really an adult yet." Brian took a leisurely sip of coffee. "If you were, you'd have more control over your actions and you wouldn't have thrown a fit when I asked you to do something that would help you."
Grimacing at Brian's insults, he pulled his lips back in a silent snarl. He might not legally be an adult, but he'd done and seen more than most adults three times his age. That qualified for something. "I thought you said you liked my energy. Isn't that what you said? And I do have control, or else I'd be over there right now punching your face in!" He clamped his mouth shut. He was NOT going to have this fight!
"You have such violent tendencies, Lukas. I can only imagine this is partially why your brother stays away from you."
Lukas gasped as if the wind had been knocked out of him and took an involuntary step back. It was true that his brother seemed to be enjoying his time alone, but it wasn't due to the fact that he was scared of him. It wasn't like that.
"Of course, I can imagine that just seeing you brings many bad memories that he'd like to avoid," said Brian, drinking from the mug again.
How could Brian say that to him! His brother would never... Lukas took an unsteady breath. "You...you...take that back..." he commanded in a near whisper. The shock in his voice was painful sounding even to him. Anxiety pooled in his stomach, making it twist horribly. Sebastian didn't react to him like that, ever!
"Sure. I can take it back. But it doesn't change the reality of it." Brian placed his mug down carefully in front of him and locked his gaze onto Lukas.
Lukas swallowed reflexively. He couldn't tear his eyes away from Brian's calm and steady gaze. His words didn't match his body language at all. He was just sitting there, lording over him from the couch.
"When was the last time you saw Sebastian?" asked Brian, then paused. "You ruined his life."
That's not true, he thought. Seb had never said... Why was he saying these things? His chest heaved. Sure he hadn't seen him at home, but he'd been busy with work and his brother had school. Well...it was true that they didn't talk as much as they should, but when they did, his brother had never seemed upset. He hadn't detected any resentment. If he was afraid of him, why was he still talking to him? Brian was wrong...he had to be!
"He knows you can't control yourself, just as much as I know you can't. I'm sure he doesn't want to chance having you do something even worse to him."
Slowly, Lukas brought his left hand up to grip at the cloth covering his stomach. Does Brian know something he didn't? Did Sebi talk to him about their childhood? He was the one his brother should go to, not Brian. "No...that's not..." he mumbled. What hurt more? His stomach or the cruel way Brian was treating him. "That's not it!" he yelled. "He's not scared of me! He's NOT!" he shouted. Fear gripped him... what if it was true and Sebastian was afraid of him. He was all alone if he abandoned him. He didn't have any other family but him! He felt queasy, like he might be sick, as his stomach rolled. He swallowed and let out a shaky breath.
Brian shrugged his shoulder, seemingly unaffected by Lukas' emotional anguish. "I'm sure you don't threaten to hit him as often as you threaten to hit me, but you're really just an accident waiting to happen. You've really hurt everyone with your careless attitude," said Brian. He regarded him with a frown for a moment before his features smoothed once more into a calm face.
Why? Why was he saying these things to him? He took a step back towards the door. He hadn't done anything! He couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from Brian's cold face. He took another step back, his hand clutching and un-clutching over his abs. Had he ever known this kind of heart breaking, gut twisting pain? Maybe... when he lost his mother. Was he going to lose Brian too? That made his stomach drop alarmingly. He didn't want that!
Brian threaded his finger through the handle of his mug and brought the cup up to his lips and took a sip. "I'm sorry, I've kept you. You said you were leaving," said Brian, as if he had inconvenienced Lukas in some way before taking another sip.
"Go on. Run away from the truth. Go home and tell yourself that everything I've said is a lie. Continue to believe that your brother is only staying because he wants to."
Lukas felt burning in the back of his throat. Brian was trying to get rid of him. He felt all the various harsh words that Brian had said to him flash across his memory, as if it was burned there now. It was all too much. How could it hurt this much?
"Go. I'm tired of trying to do things for you, only to get pushed away or have my words twisted into something else. I'm sick of your selfish attitude."
Lukas shook his head in denial, and his vision started to get blurry. No, he didn't want to leave. He...he...lo— He couldn't even say it in his head, but that didn't mean it wasn't true...
"All you think about is yourself, and you don't even stop to consider what someone else might be thinking or feeling. I don't know why I thought this could ever work... You're obviously not interested in having a mature relationship," Brian spat, glaring at him. "Get out."
Finally the tears that had been welling up within his eyes spilled over, and fell down his cheeks. All he wanted to do was to flee from the apartment all the way back to his apartment, so that he wouldn't have to have Brian see him crying. He was not a kid. But he couldn't stop the tears now that they'd started, and no amount of screaming at his legs to move registered with his body and he remained rooted to the spot. "Brian..." he whispered, his face crumbled as the tears came hard. He whimpered as he drew a ragged breath.
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South Riverside at Morning:
(https://www.sc4devotion.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg357.imageshack.us%2Fimg357%2F8421%2Fsouthriversidehp0.jpg&hash=45f1d46ad1cdfeb10e4d61250f665393bdf4c603)
4th St Bridge:
(https://www.sc4devotion.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg291.imageshack.us%2Fimg291%2F6853%2F4thstreetbridgeky2.jpg&hash=382112e5c5cf64a97dc5c5b832b0edbf3df002c1)
Central Plaza:
(https://www.sc4devotion.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg388.imageshack.us%2Fimg388%2F5895%2Fcentralplazaja8.jpg&hash=712fa36ad94a4549f744e7b159b4fce65626667d)
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Replies:
Thanks to EVERYONE thats commented.... with a special thanks going to Ian (zelgadis) and Dan (shadow_assassin)... and now to the individual comments....
art128: Thanks!
SA: LOL..... thanks again for all your help
bat: Thanks!
Threestooges: No worries! I wasn't directing it to you...
Simpson: Thanks!
XoX: Thanks!
Pat: Thanks!
thundercrack83: Thanks!
most beautiful and dedicated photoshopping that I have ever seen in a Simcity 4 screenshot &apls
keep it coming, it's looking marvelous
E
Very interesting story and very artistic pictures. Not sure what it is exactly, but I like them. &apls South River side looks great.
Robin :thumbsup:
Pure art; the edited screenshots, the video, the writing. Such an attention to detail, I am supremely impressed. ()stsfd()
Let's see where this goes. :satisfied:
very nice update my friend :thumbsup:
I vote on this kid to die, preferably in a gruesome and cool fashion :P
-cough cough- Voting is not open yet..... I do have some other people to introduce -cough- &Thk/(
ohhh Jacob &apls
i always love to read your stories!!
and your pic's are awsome as always!!!
i wish i could write a storyline like that...once many many many many many many moons ago....when i was a jong kid ( about the same time the Romans invaded Greece) i had to write a essay about a spoon...yes a spoon...800 words about what you can do with it and stuff like that...i couldn't think of anything so i wrote: you can spoon your eyes out with it.
i flunked :(
anyhoo....love the story!!! ()stsfd()
A dark opening. The pictures are great, and they seem to match the feel of the story so far. The only thing I noticed in regard to the text is that there seems to be a word missing:
QuoteIsn't that what said?
It'll be interesting to see where this goes. Great work.
Well, I had originally planned on updating this week. ()sad()
My stepfather passed away at 12:30 Tuesday afternoon from complications with heart and kidney failure and, as such, I will not be posting for a while. I hope every understands that I need to be there for my family, and that I need some time to grieve. I'll try to post my update as soon as I can, but just honestly I don't feel like doing much right now.
Jacob
Jacob, please, take all the time you need. Such a loss must be difficult. Do not worry about the update, it is not important now. We will be here whenever you are ready, but until then, spend time with your family, that is what is important now.
-Matt
Hey Jacob I hope you are doing well and I am soo very sorry to hear of the passing of your step dad... I so understand the loss as well as most of all of us here!!! Take all the time you need bud and if you need anything lemme know!!!
Patrick
OK.....
It's been a long time that I've been updating, but well, you guys all know about what happened. The service was really nice, and was outside in perfect weather. Just been trying to get caught up with everything since I had to essentially drop everything and help my mom deal with everything.
He died of heart and kidney failure while waiting on the transplant list. Thankfully, he went peacefully, and my mother was by his side, so he was never alone. Its just taken a lot of time to get affairs in order and help my mother through the greiving process, which is very hard with someone suffering from bipolar disorder.
Well..... now to the replies!
Pat: Thanks for your condolences! I've been holding up very well, and it was something that we kind of expected.
Threestooges: Matt, I personally want to thank you for your condolences. Back to your comments, thanks for catching the mistake there. Hope you like where I take this!
Fledder200: Yay!!!! I always love to see your comments. And I'm thinking nobody should leave you in a room alone with a spoon.
Yoman: Other than not being able to vote for death..... yet..... I do plan on laying out the gruesome and horrific in a timely matter.
art128: Thanks!
Dark_Jedi06: Thanks! I try my bestest!
Robin: Thanks!
EJC: Wait until I get my hands on the 3D coloring tool with Photoshop CS4..... heh.... I heart beta testing....
And now, what you all have waited nearly a month for.... chapter 1 (cont -side-note: this thing is gigantic-):
Dedicated to V.W. Harra (1951-2008)
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Setting his mug back down, Brian shot a hard look at him. "What? What more do you want from me? No, wait." Brian held up his palm and closed his eyes. "I think I already asked that this morning and you said you wanted me to sleep with you." Brian's eyes snapped open to glare at Lukas.
Lukas hiccupped, and couldn't yank his eyes away from the harsh painful glare that Brian directed his way. Brian had never looked like that at him...ever! Had he really been that ignorant towards Brian?
"Well, I did. I gave you what you wanted. I've given you everything I have to give. I've given you more than anyone before you and I tried to convey that to you this morning, but you simply turned it around giving me hollowly flattering words, then accusing me when I didn't do everything the way you wanted it done."
What? What's Brian talking about?, he wondered through his tears.
"How do you expect me to have a relationship with someone as self-centered and inconsiderate as you?" asked Brian.
Silence descended through the room; the only sound Lukas continuing distress. He hated the fact that he was sobbing this hard, and in front of Brian. He wasn't weak! He swallowed a shaky breath as that thought made him breakdown even more. He wasn't weak, but he sure was right now.
"You're obviously ready to end this, so I'm giving you what you want," said Brian. "I always give you what you want in the end, don't I?" Brian paused again. "But now, I have nothing more to give you." Brian dropped his eyes to the table in front of him. "Go. Just go. I can't even look at you," whispered Brian, his voice laced with unnamed pain.
"That's not...I didn't," sobbed Lukas. When had he said that he wanted this to end? He searched franticly though his memory for anything that Brian could have mistaken for what he seemed to believe as his desire to end the relationship, but came up with nothing.
"I don't want this to be over, Brian!" he cried, taking two faltering steps towards the man seated stiffly in the kitchen. "I want you, I do! Please, Brian...I didn't mean it." Unable to bear it any longer, he covered his face with his hand and sobbed hard into his palm. Bowing his head, he hid within his hair while is left hand worked over his stomach. The pain was back, sharp and violent, while the rest of him felt numb and tingly.
Lukas dimly heard the cell phone upstairs ringing insistently. On the third ring, Brian's chair scraped along the kitchen floor, and heard him run up the steps to answer. He couldn't stop crying, and he couldn't seem to care. He'd never been attacked like this, where someone he cared about sought to rip his very heart out.
His throat ached with his agony and the tears, more then he'd ever remembered shedding before, fell down on to his face. Maybe...he didn't want him cause he was flawed. He never did try to fix this. He opened his eyes and looked at the palm covering his face. Brian always was looking at his scars.
No. He was grasping at straws. This was too far out there. It didn't make any sense. Drawing in a shaky, meant to be calming, breath, he made himself to calm down. Tears weren't helping. He'd never said anything like what Brian seemed to think he did, he was sure. Brian was being a bastard, and as much as he hated to admit it, Brian never did something without reason.
Brian came back downstairs then, and Lukas let his right hand fall back to his side. Dressed in his uniform with his coat on, he had a roll of toilet paper in one hand. "That was the mayor on the phone. He apparently doesn't care that I'm sick," said Brian, crossing the room to slap the roll against Lukas' chest. "I need to go down and meet with the city council downtown and you're coming with me, so stop your sniveling and clean your face."
Lukas meekly took hold of the roll and sniffled hard. Brian briskly walked back into the kitchen, and scooped up his mug, downing another mouth full before dumping the rest in the sink. He placed the mug on the counter. He could no longer look at Brian as he moved angrily around the kitchen, so he looked down at his feet.
"We'll need to walk over to the company garage and get a car," Brian said. Lukas could hear him opening and closing drawers. "And drink the damn milk," he commanded briskly as he left the kitchen and approached the front door.
Wanting to appease Brian in some way, he sniffled around a ragged breath and went into the kitchen. He stood in front of the small glass, trying to work up the courage to down the vile stuff. With his stomach rolling, he thought he ought to do it now, and if he got sick, he was totally going to blame it on Brian. Picking up the glass, he threw the milk back, trying to not let it touch his tongue. He put the glass back and hurried out into the front room, where Brian was buttoning up his winter coat.
"Brian," Lukas began hesitantly, his eyes firmly glued to the floor as he stopped behind Brian. He really wanted to reach out and grip the back of Brian's coat and bury his face in Brian's shoulder, but he refrained. He still felt the sting from Brian's harsh words, and couldn't bring himself to look him in the eye until he got his answer. "You're not really going to break up with me, right?" he pleaded.
Brian turned around, and snatched the toilet paper from his loose grip and ripped a few squares off. His chin was tipped upwards, and Brian rubbed the tissue across his still wet cheeks with a little more force than one would think necessary, making him grunt in displeasure. Dropping his hand, Brian turned to the door and threw it open.
"Hurry up. I'm supposed to be at Central Plaza in ten minutes, and we still need to pick up the car."
"Brian!" badgered Lukas. Brian was not going to get out of answering him, and he had slipped into work mode, calling him by his alias. That was never a good sign. "Talk to me!" he whined. Sniffling, he closed the door behind him. "You can't shut me out!" he called towards the brisk moving man.
He was starting to get angry again. He'd been floored by the way Brian had talked to him. He hadn't been expecting it. Would never have expected something like that to come from Brian! And he was embarrassed that Brian had made him cry so hard and so easily. Brian was already half way down the street, making him have to jog to make up the difference. Now Brian was trying to run away. He wasn't even waiting for him!
"Apparently, Gooding and Phelps are unavailable to drive us," Brian said as he came trotting up beside him.
"Brian!" Lukas pulled on his arm to make Brian turn and talk to him. Quicker then he would have thought possible for an 'old' guy, Brian reversed his hold and snatched his left wrist into a firm grip, dragging him off his feet.
"Brian, slow down, and answer me!" he complained, his feet catching on the sidewalk. Not wanting to end up with road burn, he had to pay attention to the ground momentarily while Brian maintained his hold on his arm.
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Brian didn't stop until they were in front of the garage, all the while dragging Lukas behind him. He opened the door with his free hand, and finally released his hold on his arm. As Brian crossed the interior, he said over his shoulder, "What exactly is it that you want me to answer?"
Lukas stepped across the threshold, and looked around. There were a few cars parked in the heated garage, all company-issue black. Straightening his jacket, he ran his fingers through the messy tangle that was his hair. His arm throbbed from where Brian had held on to him, and he rubbed at it absently.
"I want to know about us, and hear that we're not breaking up," Lukas said, taking another step into the garage, and closing the door. "What else is there?"
Brian walked back around the back of the cars, and pulled open the door to the driver's side of his assigned vehicle. "Get in," he ordered, and sat in the car, closing the door.
Brian was avoiding answering him. That couldn't be a good sign. He frowned at the man through the windshield for a moment before he decided that, at least if he went, he could have it out with him and he wouldn't be able to run away anymore. Lukas stomped over to the passenger side and got in, slamming the door. Folding his left leg under him, he turned on the bench seat and glared at Brian's profile. "And?" he bit out.
"And put on your seatbelt," Brian said, putting the car in gear.
Lukas frowned. Brian was being such a jerk! And an *****, a bastard, bloody pea-sized—his internal name calling festival was cut short when Brian jerked the car in reverse and cursed mightily under his breath before he could get the car in the correct gear and pulled out of the garage. So intent was he that he didn't even think about teasing Brian about his mistake.
Bracing the dashboard, he glared at Brian's profile, no way was he going to walk all over him! "Stop stalling and tell me the truth! Tell me you don't have feelings for me, huh! I know, you've never said that you love me!" I can't believe that I even considered telling you that I might be in love with you! thought Lukas, but there was no way he was going to say that now after all that Brian had said to him.
It was painfully obvious that Brian had so little regard for him that he thought that he could treat him however he liked. Well he wasn't going to make him cry anymore! In fact, maybe that was why he wasn't allowed to sleep over more than one night. Maybe Brian had been seeing other people as well...
"You're just looking for some toy, that you can treat however you like, without having to think about my feelings or emotions," ranted Lukas. He griped the back of the bench seat with his left hand as Brian took a turn a little too fast, making him brace harder against the inertia. "I'm sure you've been all over the whole time, haven't you!" His voice rose as he let all his hurt and confusion come out in his attack.
"I can't believe I ever THOUGHT that I had strong emotions for you, you bastard! And you tried to use Seb against me! How the hell could you do that to me? To ME! You know how hard I've worked to right that mistake, and you causally throw it in my face!" He flicked his hand in front of his face, and threw a disgusted glare at the man behind the wheel.
Without turning, Brian said as he drove, "That's right. I've never had feelings for you. I just wanted a good time. That's why I've kept you around all this time. Because, we both know how difficult it is for me to find someone."
He grit his teeth as Brian once again threw his past in his face, and his eyes narrowed even further in response. Maybe he should go out and **** anything that moved and see how Brian liked it. That would show him! It wasn't at all nice to know that someone you cared about was testing the waters elsewhere. It made him seethe. If Brian wasn't driving...
"Very brilliant deduction on your part. It just makes perfect sense that I would keep you of all people as a pet while I went out with the rest of the town," said Brian. No longer was he the picture of calm and control, now he burned hot with vicious sarcasm. "Good job. You're so brilliant. Now I see how you passed school." Brian shook his head and pulled the car sharply to the left.
Lukas glanced quickly out the front of the car as Brian recklessly maneuvered the car around a large pothole in the street. Wasn't Brian a bad driver...? He was starting to get slightly worried and began to tune out what Brian was saying as he watched the road with apprehension.
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"But at least you've finally voiced the truth about you wanting to end this. And as for your brother," said Brian, pausing to slam his foot on the car break. The suddenness of it caused Lukas' lower half to slide off the seat and under the dash. He pulled himself up and out, and looked up to see a street light shining red. He cast a worried glance across the car at Brian and wondered if maybe he should just jump out now before Brian did something.
-more later this week!-
And now, to some extras.....
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Timbervale International Airport: Terminal B
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I-76 Bridge w/ Gay Pride Decorations
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The Starlight Restaurant and Lounge
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Central Plaza Memorial Park
Well, that's it for today! Hope you all enjoyed the update!
very fine update here :thumbsup:
the airport look good &apls
Wow.....
Again with the artistic pictures, the last few are great.
The last one reminds me of a winter day and the kids have gone home after a long day of skating on the ice. Great job.
&apls
Robin :thumbsup:
Nice update as well ;)
Your city is looking fantastic
I love the first pic...so réalistic and beautiful
&apls &apls
That's a nice new part there! And the pictures are looking excellent!
Beautiful work on it!!!!!!!!!!! :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
If I had half the patience you do... :P
The edited pics are amazing and add an extra touch of realism beyond the city building.
:thumbsup:
Very impressive work and photoshopping! &apls :o
Nice update! :thumbsup:
Jacob any time my friend and Im sorry I didnt catch that announcement sooner!!! I do have to say this update is intense wow!!! I cant believe Brian is being such a back stabbing pud wacker omg total shock... Loved the pics here in this update and I cant wait till then next update ~~~ Patrick
Jacob,
Glad to see you around again. I hope everything is beginning to get back into some sort of order for you and your family. Interesting continuation of the story. Not quite sure where it's going yet (but I'm guessing that's part of it). I'll keep an eye out for the next installment. Hope all is well.
-Matt
Ok.... I plan on having some pictures and the update tonight...
But first, I think I need to clarify what the plot setup of this story is...
Essentially, every chapter will introduce a new character. I will be trying to kill them off at the end of the chapter. When I am done with introducing every single character, I'll let everyone vote on who they want to kill off.... using the handy-dandy Polltronic 5000.
Essentially, I have somewhat of an idea of how each person will die, and what the story's general ending will be, but you guys ultimately get to choose how the story arc will end.
I will, however, continue using the characters, and maybe kill some more off in later stories (think Final Destination).
Keep in mind that this is only the first arc, and that I have other stories
Thinking maybe I'll go with a hotel collapse next?
lined up, so choose which character to kill off wisely. They may have come in handy in the next story :P
Jacob
PS: I realize that I have made the chapters a little rambling.... so I will be making them much shorter.... this one is still another 3 pages long... but don't be surprised if I have to make a few pretty long. But I do promise lots of gore and such if that's the case. And lots of pretty pictures.
Well, everyone. I'm thinking this story may be dead. Nobody really has been commenting, and I almost have to beg people to comment. I've been looking back at my old stories, and CJs, and I got nearly triple the views and comments in the same time period when I wrote zombie stories.
So, I wondering if everyone would rather I write the zombie story again? Should I stick with what I have? This isn't going to change the quality of the pics, that much I can promise, but its kinda getting to the point where some people are getting kinda snarly (not in the actual thread mind you, but else where and in chatting...) about my updates being boring and rookie-ish and such...
So, help me make the choice..... stick with the plot, or switch to something more zombie-ish or close to it?
Jacob
noo you cant just let it die Jacob no no no... sorry me throwing a small tantrum lol... I am in favor of the handy-dandy polltronic 5000 idea!!! people have been commenting heck just look at the response from the last update.. All I have to ask is dont go the route of the real live dead person's just yet!!!
PS I did catch the last notice from you on the 9th and I was waiting for the update to appear before saying something ;)
awesome work , your city is really splendid but please how have you make this snow effect ?(photoshop) , (gimp) ?! ()what()
stay with that! you will start to get comments and views on a regular base when you'll be in the best sellers. I'm back here and that's why I'm posting here for the first time and I must say I'm really impressed with what you did, I really like it and I would like you to continue with this. But it's your choice isn't it? and it's just my opinion isn't it?
I think something you can do is after you finish writing a story, trim out unnecessary parts and reformat the text into more managable paragraphs. Even consider making one big update into as many as 3 small ones, published on a more regular basis. I just say this from reading people's stories on sites like deviantart and livejournal. A "Word Salad" might be the best masterpiece in the history of literature but people may not read it on an online site if it's long and bulky.
Finally maybe some people have read the story, but have a hard time deciding on what to comment about besides a simple "good job" type comment. I read the story, it's cool, about two guys with some personal issues between one another, I just couldn't think of what to say because it hasn't progressed to the point where we really know what the plot of the story is.
Who knows though, I think you should write whatever story you enjoy, though I completely understand that what really makes it worthwhile is when someone else reads your story and actually proves it by leaving a thoughtful and detailed comment.
Anyways you rock for keeping the idea of a story city journal around, I keep trying to make one but everytime I do something goes wrong. I had 3 chapters written in word when I heard what sounded like my hard drive making grinding noises, and I knew exactly what was going to happen next :'(
I agree with Zaphod. Perhaps a more frequent (and by necessity shorter length) set of updates might increase the feedback. Personally, I feel that the story is just getting started and, aside from some basic exposition, not much has happened yet so I haven't found much to comment on in detail. I will certainly keep following the story if you decide to continue. I'm not saying that every update needs to be explosion packed or anything like that, but it seems like things haven't really developed much past the character devleopment stage (which is not necessarily a bad thing).
-Matt
OK.... after reading everything that your all had to say, I've decided to keep this going. It was just a little unnerving to not have really any replies to my updates, but have a nearly 30 to 1 viewing to comment ratio.
I do plan on more pictures and shorter chapters, but this chapter was kinda hard to cut parts out of without people going, "what is going on???"
Before I update, here's my personal replies:
art128: Thanks! It's going to be coming into the story later on.... maybe around chapter 4 or so? We are finishing chapter 1 tonight!
rooker1: Thanks! Hope you enjoy the next set of pictures!
Simpson: I try.... and Photoshop makes it a little easier....
bat: Thanks!
Dark_Jedi06: Thanks! Your pictures are rather awesome too!
sciurus54: Thanks! My hands hurt from it :P
papab2000: Thanks!
Pat: Wait until you read the last part of the chapter.... You'll be..... shocked....
threestooges: Well, it's kinda slow starting up, but I think you'll get the jist of the story once I finish chapter 2...
Pat (2): Never fear, even if I had shut the story down (which I'm not) I would never leave out the end of the chapter....
south park: I use Photoshop and some really great ice/snow paintbrushes I found online.
LP_Green: Well, I'll be the first to admit it, i am a bit of a comment junkie. I just like know that what I'm doing is actually being enjoyed by people. Which, with the sudden outcry, looks like it is.
Zaphod: Unfortunately, this chapter has a lot of backdrop that simply can't get thrown out. A lot. Like cut this out and leave the reader all confused. And that is just freaky about the computer hating you when writing. Flipping computers....
threestooges (2): Well, fortunately, this one is action packed.
I'd like to take a minute before every update and bring to light a MD that I've been reading lately that I think everyone should go check out. This week, I want to showcase Pat's MD, Waterfalls... I've never personally posted a comment that I remember, but I've been lurking for ages, and let me say he has some of the greatest amounts of naturalism I've ever seen in a thread. Go check it out in the Best Sellers section today!
Ok.... after giving my wrists a nice break, time to post the last part of chapter one... already in progress...
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"You're doing a fabulous job at telling yourself things to make you feel better," continued Brian unabated. "Keep going. Tell yourself what a bastard I am, and how of course Sebastian would never stay away from you. He's just too busy to talk to you. Being too busy for your own brother makes a whole lot of sense to me too."
Lukas had just sat his bum back on the seat, when Brian slammed his foot down hard on the gas, throwing him backwards. The car jumped ahead. Lukas' eyes flickered outside and widened in horror. A pedestrian was currently crossing the street! Tightening his hold on the back of the seat, he braced his still throbbing arm on the dash. Brian jerked the steering wheel hard and the car swerved around the frightened citizen.
"But go ahead. Pound me for being a heartless bastard. Because, like you said, you have control over yourself."
"Hey!" Lukas looked out the back of the car, trying to see if the person was alright or not. The man shook his fist at their speeding car and seemed to be shouting at them. He couldn't blame him, he felt like doing the same. But only if he was out of the car and not moving. "Watch what you're doing!" he admonished.
His heart was in his throat. Adrenaline pumped through his system at how close they had come to running someone down. Brian was really pissed... and he had never seen him lose his temper this bad before. He was used to the calm, teasing side of Brian...not this. Maybe a little vein popping or a little cursing... but this?
"And, Lukas..." The icy tone of Brian's voice dragged his eyes away from the rear of the car over to Brian's face. He was staring so intently at him; it made him forget that they had almost hit someone. "Don't fault me for never saying something you've never said to me," Brian said.
The flat emotionless stare from Brian sent shivers down his spine. The eyes that he loved to look into no longer held that sparkle anymore, and that made him feel remorse. It wasn't like Brian gave him any signals that he was feeling like that about him. Why should he be the one to put himself on a limb like that? He wasn't even sure what love was between a couple. How was he supposed to know if what he felt was really love or just some unknown, unnamed emotion. Was all this really his fault? Did he really cause all this? He couldn't believe it.
Movement on the street in his peripheral vision caught his attention and his eyes flickered towards it. Bloody...hell! He gasped silently, his eyes widening in horror. They had drifted across the median and were headed into on-coming traffic. He griped the back of the seat in his left hand hard; he dimly noted Brian spinning around in this seat. The blue car directly in front of them blared its horn angrily at them and swerved.
Lukas was thrown into the dash as their car braked hard, his right shoulder taking most of the impact. He didn't even have time to register the pain as something broke horribly in his shoulder before the whole car began to roll. The sound of screeching, protesting metal and breaking glass became all that he knew.
The vehicle lurched violently again and he was thrown hard into the seat back as the car was once again struck. His forehead cracked hard on the back of the seat making him see stars, and gasped when he felt something slide all too easily through his back. No longer able to tumble around inside the car, he could only gasp at each movement and vibration until the car slid to a stop.
The silence and stillness was overpowering in its completeness after the noise and chaos of a few moments ago. Blinking at his lap, he watched in fascination as drops of dark red liquid dripped down his face and into his lap. They dripped one after the other making a wide shallow puddle that was slowly being absorbed into the seat. He swallowed and tried to take a breath, but the very air seemed hard to draw into his lungs.
The delicate tinkling of broken glass intrigued him and he turned his head slightly to try to better catch the sound. The slight turning of his head caused the liquid to fall into a new place, down onto the floor where the carpet soaked it up. Weariness crept up on him then, and there didn't seem to be a logical reason why he shouldn't go to sleep.
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"Luke..."
He knew that voice. It was an important voice, but he couldn't remember why. Maybe if he saw who the voice belonged to it might make him remember better. Lukas tried to push off the seat so he could lift his head, but that small movement sent blinding white hot pain down his body, making him freeze.
That woke him up. Why did it hurt so much? His eyes widened in alarm. After a moment a black blanket was placed in his lap, making the red liquid start a new puddle within its fabric.
"You have to stay awake, okay?"
Stay awake? Why? Something brushed against his face, and pressed into his forehead. Oh! This was a different pain, but no less important. You shouldn't touch it! He rocked his head away from the probing touch, and closed his eyes. That's better...it's better without pain. But it didn't last long. The pain was back as something wrapped around his head tight.
"Lukas!"
Lukas blinked owlishly, as his head was brought up, and he could finally see who the voice belonged too. Ah! It was Brian. That was good. Brian was good to have here. Maybe he'd find out why he hurt so much... Despite having difficulty breathing, he began to rapidly gulp for more oxygen.
"Just don't move, ok?" Brian said, stroking his cheek.
"Ugh..." he groaned in pain. "Um..." he swallowed. The what? What does Brian want from me now? He tried to lift his right hand to bat at Brian's hold on his chin, and frowned. Rolling his head down to his right shoulder, he looked at what should have been a working arm, but instead it was horribly twisted and mangled in the socket, his coat doing little to hide the wrongness of it.
"Um..." mumbled Lukas, frowning at his arm. What was he supposed to say again...? His head was once again lifted, and he blinked at Brian, confused, hoping that Brian would sort this all out for him. It was incredibly hard to think right now, so...what? Brian reached out and started stroking his hair. Hmm, he always did like that.
"Just look at me, then. Look into my eyes and stay awake okay? Help will be here soon," Brian murmured.
Lukas could only blink tiredly at Brian. Small tremors attacked his body; each shift increasing the pain exponentially. Why would help be coming? That didn't make any sense. "B-B-Brian..." he stuttered, his teeth chattering against each other. Why was it so cold?
Brian stroked Lukas' hair for a moment before leaning in to place a kiss on his forehead. When he pulled back he stared intently into Lukas' eyes. "That's right. I'm here, Luke. Now just stay awake..."
Yeah, Brian was here...but didn't he want to leave? It was all so confusing and jumbled up. The tremors were becoming more pronounced, and he finally knew why he hurt. He could feel it. Every twisted inch of it... "Wha-w-what...?" Looking down at his left side, he could see a jagged piece of metal protruding from his lower stomach to pierce the top of his leg.
Red gore and flesh clung to the edges. He could actually see parts of his insides clinging to the metal. It was amazing! His left hand pulled itself away from behind his back, and reached out to touch, what looked like a bit of his intestines. He wondered if it was as spongy as it really looked or was it just sort of slimy cause of the blood.
"Don't touch it," Brian softly commanded, catching his hand before he could reach it. "Leave it there. It will bleed more if we pull it out and I'm not a doctor..." Brian gently lifted his chin once more and placed a kiss on to his forehead. "Stay with me..." Brian pleaded, kissing his forehead again. "Stay awake..."
'Stay with him'?, he thought, blinking slowly, forgetting about his discovery. Was he supposed to go somewhere? He tried to focus on Brian's face, but it swam in front of him. "Brian...you w-want me?" He did his best to focus on the face in front of him so he could better understand the answer... What was the question again?
Brian blinked rapidly before answering. "Yes, Luke. I want you, I've always wanted you... I..." Brian faltered. Sniffling he reached out and patted his cheek. "Just stay awake."
"You're n-n-not mad?" he stuttered, panting now. It seemed really important that he know this and quickly. It felt as though time was running out. Darkness was creeping into the edges of his vision now. Swallowing hard, his dry tongue slipped past his lips to try and moisten them. He was so thirsty.
Laying Lukas' hand down by his side gently, Brian used the sleeve of his dress shirt to wipe his face. "I'm not mad," said Brian, his voice wobbly. "I'm not mad, so just stay awake."
That was good to know. If Brian was mad at him then when he went to sleep he'd be worried that he'd be sad. He really wanted Brian to be happy. Yeah, Brian should be happy. "Good..." his voice trailed off, and he finally gave in and let his eyes close.
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And some extra pictures:
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And a teaser from Chapter 2!
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Hopefully I'll get Chapter 2 finished up with its total rewrite by Wed!
Jacob
Jacob I ummm WOW!!! OK that wasnt my total choice of words but we'll run with that as this is a PG site lol... But still daaaaaaaaaaaaaaum that is a twist I didnt even see coming wow!!! :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Now that's a cliffhanger. Interesting addition to the chapter. I don't think you'll have too much trouble getting some comments on this one. I'll keep an eye out for the next update.
OMG your pictures look like really at the reel i don't have any other work !! :o &apls
that update is fantastic :thumbsup: great work Jacob &apls
Wow...
I wonder what the consequences of this will be for them, beyond their own injuries, I can't imagine they didn't hurt a bunch of other people perhaps enough for serious criminal charges.
This new update is really fantastic :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Well, I decided to add the chapter headers.....
For chapter 1 (yes I know.... ANOTHER FMA PICTURE....):
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But I did decide to go with a different anime series for Chapter 2.... no idea where its from though....:
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About 1/3 of the way through the rewrite. Expect another update this week when i get finished!
i'm impressed with the quality of your writings, I'm drinking your words and eagerly waiting for the next update.
good work!
OMG, so sad that he died.... :(
Fantastic work there on that new continuation of your story! And nice pictures in it! Great work! Looking forward to the next continuation...... ;)
OK all! Like I said, I'd try to get this next chapter posted this week and it is finally done.
But first, I'd like to show you all the newest addition to our house!
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(From the breeder's website, personal ones to come)
This is Mia, our cute new little Himalayan kitten. Our last cat, Fuzzy, passed early this week on Monday, and we decided we really missed her and wanted a new one.
Ok, back to the update. I've noticed quite a bit more replies now that I've gotten to the blood and gore... so I'm definitely going to keep this one going. Also, I'd like to bring to light another MD for everyone to check out!
But, first, to the replies:
Pat: You like twists? Well, you'll love the next chapter then. Very sudden twist. Very.
threestooges: I love cliffhangers. And this story is going to be loaded with them. Also, I explain why the character of Lukas is written the way it is in Chapter 3. Hopefully. It's rather dark and horrible.
south park: Thanks! I'm thinking if I get extra time this winter of opening up a photoshop workshop on each site. I'll have to get permission from both sites first though.
Zaphod: Oooooh..... that comment hit the plot right on the nose.....
Simpson: Thanks!
LP_Green: Well, wait no more! Enjoy the update!
CarmineHilton: Well, nobody said he's died. Yet. Everyone will get to decide this in a while.
bat: As always, great to see you replying here! And you better be waiting for it to come! ;)
OK.... before the update gets posted, let's talk about The Movian Empire by CarmineHilton. Let me say, Carmine has done some amazing work with his MD. I love the European design and culture he brings to it, and it's always fun to see what little things he leaves at the end of every update. Again, I lurk but don't comment, but I definitely suggest you go over and check it out! I know I enjoy looking at it.
Last but not least, special thanks again to shadow assassin (Dan) for his help on getting this update proofread so I don't look like a complete and total idiot. And now.... (drumroll please)
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".... Health officials are urging everyone to get a flu shot this year due to the extreme nature and unusually cold weather this year.
.... In other news, the highly anticipated Tricomm and Interlink merger is set to take place later today. The ill-fated Windsor Park based company, Interlink Communications, is expected to be bought out by the Timbervale telecommunications giant Tricomm Wireless for an estimated $42 billion. Tricomm CEO, Brian Handover declined comment.
Now let's go to Katie in the Weather Center.... Katie, what can we expect for the morning commute?
Well Tom, it looks like the overnight snow will be slowing down in most parts of the metro area with the clouds breaking up in many areas, but don't expect it to get any warmer today with yet another cold front moving in from the north..."
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Looking away from the small panel near the train car's door as the train began to move again, he turned his attention back to the girl sitting next to him.
"So, seriously! You have to tell me!" she continued, the pleasure bubbling into her chipper voice, "When are you going to do it?"
Sliding his hand into his left coat pocket and feeling the small ring box, Andrew turned to his little sister Jenna with a smile creeping on his face.
"Now just why would I tell you? You are the worst at keeping a secret and if I tell you, I'd have to take your precious phone away," he replied, poking her in the forehead and getting a disgruntled sigh from the much younger girl next to him.
"You're just chicken. A REAAAAAL man would have gone and proposed to the girl they've been dating for the last 3 years ages ago!" she replied, pushing him on his shoulder as the train began to start slowing down and a loud ding permeated across the nearly empty car.
"Next station: Riverside Expressway and Central Plaza. Estimated arrival to station in 35 seconds. Left doors opening."
As the train's breaks began their squealing protest, he grabbed the metal bar above his head and yelled out to his traveling companion. "If you really must know.... I'm going to propose to her tonight at Starlight Tower after work.... Going for the whole ring in the champagne bit and everything! Very classy! I'll even make sure the waiter gets some pictures for us!"
"Oh my god! That is so romantic! I'm so jealous!" Jenna yelled her reply as the gleaming station slid past the windows of the rapidly slowing car. With a jolt the train stopped and the doors opened, allowing the cold wet outside air to enter the train, chilling both as they made their way to the door.
"So how about you?" he asked, stepping out onto the lightly populated platform, automatically turning towards the escalator upward. "Mom said that your friend April set you up with some guy from your school. Tell me about him..."
"Well...." She said, looking down at her feet and began blushing, "Daddy only let me go on one date with him, but Sebby.... I mean Sebastian is actually kind of cute. A little nerdy, but still..."
"Aw..." he cooed, tilting his head side and making a face at her, "My wittle sister has a cwush!"
"And your little sister is going to kick you in the groin if you don't stop with the baby voice," she growled, and upon stepping off the escalator, got a evil smile on her face, made her way to the coffee counter near the entrance of the station, "You're going to make it up to me by buying me coffee and a bagel."
"Am I now?" he called out to her, making his way towards her.
"Yep, unless you want me to text Mom while you're at the hospital and tell her every little detail about you getting engaged tonight," she continued, pressing the buttons on the order screen and then waiting for her older brother to swipe his credit card in the machine, "Which can easily be arranged while I'm in class."
"Black-mailer!" he shot at her, entering in his order and waving the thin plastic card over the reader.
"You know I prefer the word extortionist," she shot back, smirking as she brought the promptly dispensed bagel to her mouth.
Grabbing their drinks they made their way outside and walked up to the crosswalk outside the doors. Pressing the button, the stood in the cold morning air and began to eat their breakfast.
"So why are you going into work so early today?" she finally asked, breaking the silence between them.
"Well, they are planning on shutting down half the ER later today and are going to hand off the overflow to the free clinic," he replied, beginning to walk across the intersection at the changing of the light, "And I'm in charge there today."
"Oh..." she replied, cupping her hands around the warm cup against the chilled air.
"Why do you...." He began looking around to her as he noticed the black car flying towards her, its driver turned in the seat and apparently yelling at the smaller passenger.
"Jesus!" he yelled, pulling her as quick as he could out of its way to him, getting scalded as the coffee she was hold began to pour down the front of his jacket and scrub bottoms.
With his younger sister gasping, he raised his fist and began to shake it at the offending car and scream profanities at it. Looking back to his sister he noticed she was visibly shaking.
"Are you ok?" he said looking her over and checking for signs of injury.
"Yeah..." she answered shakily, finally unclenching his arms as her attention was suddenly drawn to the large crashing noise coming from the direction of the car.
"Oh my god..." Andrew gasped out, looking at the horrific scene unfolding before their eyes and began to take a few steps toward the accident.
"Andrew..." Jenna began, trying to reach out for her older brother as she heard the screeching of the tires on something large coming their way.
"Dear god, we need to go help them Jen..." he began as the large gleaming bus hit him before her eyes.
"Andrew!" she yelled out to him, barely flinching at the specks of blood hitting her skin and the sound of the bus that had just hit her brother wildly fishtailed and began to flip over, and other vehicles began to impact it.
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"OH GOD! ANDREW!!!! ANDREW! SOMEONE HELP!" she continued screaming as the world around her erupted in a cascade of broken glass and protesting metal.
-end of chapter 2-
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Extra Pictures Time!!!
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Well, thats all for this week folks. Hope yo enjoyed the update!
OMFG Jacob talk about a major twist there for Andrew and a short lived charater too!!! WOW!!!! OMG :o :o :o The pics are stunning as well as the story, i could see and hear every thing unfolding wow!!! I cant wait for the next chapter!!
I already left a much longer comment on the ST version, but whatever.
Just to wanted to say keep it up, I love the atmosphere and the way you are telling the story with the news broadcasts. I am starting to think that maybe some of these incidents are connected.
Keep it up man, I thing you have something good going here
OMG that's just incredibly you are a photoshop master !! &apls
congrat's you are in best seller's !!
the new update is awesome my friend &apls great work on your city :thumbsup:
looking forward to more :thumbsup:
Arthur ;)
Nice chapter 2 there! And wonderful pictures also the ones in the extra-section!
And congrats for the moving to the BEST SELLERS (+ for over 100 replies!!!)!!!!! &apls
So this update has been taking a rather long time to FINALLY be finished! And by god, its on the best sellers page! :o
First, I'd like to start off with special thanks to our awesome moderator Dustin (thundercrack83). Without his constant help this week, I'd have never gotten this chapter edited to the point it needed to be.
Also, I'd like to thank Dan (shadowassassin) for all his help on polishing up the story so I truly don't look like a fool when I post chapters. He's truly great at helping me work out every last detail, and telling me when something is just really as bad as I worry it is :P
Next up is zelgadis over on ST. The man is a true genius on writing, and his inspiration has led me to keep going with the thing. Also, I can always count on his support of my posts!
Last, thanks to every one of you that reply to this MD. I'd never would have made it to the Best Sellers without everyone's replies! (PSA) Don't forget to vote on the Best MD competition! Even if you don't vote for mine (cough cough, hint hint... :P), its always great to give recognition to all those wonderful MDs people put out on this site!
OK. Now that all that is out of the way, time for some replies!
Pat: Who said he died? I didn't..... You and everyone else get to decide that little bit of information.
Zaphod: What? No.... connected? Nah..... Couldn't be. :-[
south park: Yeah.... I try.... I try.... I'm thinking I may some day open a tutorial thread thingy on photoshopping here and on ST.
art128: Heh.... wait no more!
bat:Yeah, I'm slowly forcing myself into the habit of making at least 2 extras and more actual pictures during the update.
OK! Time for the next chapter!
-side-note: Intense plot ahead!!! Please don't feel afraid to complain about anything in this chapter. i know when I was writing it, that it was going to be a rather dark and controversial chapter, and if you feel offended by it, I have no problem editing it, or having the moderators edit it-
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"...listening to KYPY 93.5, Timbervale's number 1 hit music station. The time is now 6:30, and it's time to take a look at the weather and traffic..."
Letting out a groan, Sebastian cracked open his eyes and glared contemptuously at the radio. Reaching over, he slammed his hand on the snooze button and flopping his head onto the pillow, stared at the ceiling.
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"Hey! You home Lukas?" he yelled out loud, calling out in the direction of his brother's room, across the hall from the two bedroom apartment he lived with his brother in. Answered by the piercing silence, he sighed out loud.
Seriously? At Brian's house again?, he thought to himself as he lay in his bed, trying to wake himself up so he could get ready for the day ahead. It wasn't that he didn't think his brother shouldn't stay the night over at his house. Heck, even HE liked the guy, granted not on the level his brother did. He was truly glad for everything the man done for his brother. And that his brother finally was smiling.
Throwing his comforter off, he sat up and set his feet on the cold, hardwood floor, wincing at the bitterness it brought. He stood up, and slowly trudged his way to the bathroom, grabbing a towel from a small closet along the way.
Flicking on the light in the bathroom, he blinked at the stark whiteness of the tile and made his way to the shower, turning it to the right temperature, and after removing his clothes, stepped under the steaming water. He again let his mind wander as the hot water beat down on his head.
It's already been eight years, he reflected to himself, reaching for the shampoo. Eight years since their mother died and that man had essentially committed suicide. He'd only been 8 at the time, his brother only 13. His brother, the amazing older brother that he was, had stood in his place, protecting him. He could still remember it like it was yesterday.
It really was just like any other night. Their mother was at work yet again, leaving them in the care of that vile bastard. It wasn't until a couple of years ago that his brother had finally told him of the abuse, but he had always known that what the man was doing to his brother was wrong. There was never a chance to tell their mother about it, not with the man constantly being there watching them.
That night was different though. Unknown to them at the time, their mother had gotten a promotion, and got a chance to come home for the night so she could get ready for working on the day shift. Sebastian hadn't even known his mother was there until he heard the scream coming from her as she entered his brother's room and walked in to check on Lukas.
He remembered how she screamed at him, telling him that she was going to get him put in jail forever. Her trying to tell his brother that everything would be ok. Grabbing the bar of soap, Sebastian and began washing his face as his mind continued to wander.
The worst part was that he could remember how the man's laugh was so cold. He knew she couldn't have known was that the bastard had a gun. A gun Sebastian learned many years later was used to keep Lukas from talking. He could feel the explosion of the gunshot going through his body even in the other room, the one that killed his mother and caused the neighbors to call the police.
The bastard had ended up holding his brother hostage for hours in the small house Sebastian being pulled to safety and comforted by the police that day. Eventually, they entered the house, and the man decided to have a shootout with the police, ending his life as the officers filled his body with bullets.
Snapping his attention back to the present, Lukas noticed the water slowly turning cold and shut off the water. Stepping out, he grabbed the towel and began drying himself.
They were in the foster system for three horrible years, so lucky to never be separated. It was sick irony, how such a horrible system was still better than the secret torture his brother had endured. And how his brother, the day of his 18th birthday pulled them from the system and lived on their own.
Walking back into his room, Sebastian turned on the TV, letting the sound of the anchor people's voices drone on in the background as he dressed. Grabbing his cell phone and bag, he pulled his bedroom door behind him and made his way towards the front door of the apartment.
Locking the door, he made his way down the stair and out to the front of the building. Waving to their neighbor as she walked past him into the building, he walked over to the bus stop and sat on the bench.
He remembered the day his brother started staying out on all those late nights on the streets. Sebastian was 11 at the time, Lukas 18. They had run out of money, and his brother sacrificed himself yet again, telling him that it would be the only way that they could pay the bills. He'd stayed up so many nights, sitting alone in the small apartment that his brother barely was able to afford, all the while putting Sebastian through the best school in the city. He'd always worried that his brother would be taken away from him forever, be it physically or mentally.
Stepping onto the bus, he took a seat and looked down at his phone, sending a text to his brother to remind that he would meet at Lukas' work since school was out for the holiday. Finishing the text, he closed the phone, and stuffing it back into his pocket, he let his mind wander yet again.
It was two years before his brother met Brain and was, in everyone's opinion, saved by him. It had been a normal night for Lukas until he was picked up by Brian. He'd never gotten the details out of Lukas, but Sebastian couldn't have been happier with what happened after that night.
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It had shocked him at first that someone as rich and powerful as Brian would actually take pity on his brother, but before Sebastian knew it, his brother was off the street, had a job as the man's personal assistant, and holding a relationship. He was finally seeing his brother truly happy.
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Noticing the pregnant woman entering the slowly filling bus, Sebastian stood up and motioned for the woman to take his seat. Smiling at him, he blushed and grabbed the metal bar above him, bracing himself as the bus began moving forward again.
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Letting out a yawn, he let his attention drift to the giant glass windows of the bus, looking outside as they began to turn onto an old, metal bridge, the snow finally began to break. As the bus finished crossing the bridge, turned his view to the front of the bus right as a young man began to cross the street in front of them. He yelled out to the driver, but to no avail as bus ran over him, blood splattering the now cracked windshield.
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Feeling the bus lurch and begin to sway on its side, Sebastian let out a gasp, and finally lost his grip on the bar. To his left, a semi slammed into the side of the bus, sending shards of glass across the cabin. Trying to scream out, Sebastian felt himself flying through the air, and cringed in agony as his head smashed into one of the metal bars, making him see stars and feel a warm, wet trickle of blood running down his neck. As he blacked out from the pain, he vaguely could hear the screams as the bus finally flipped over.
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Extras:
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Hope everyone enjoyed this update!
Jacob
This is an awesome update Jacob, It's a perfect mix of buildings !! very well done my friend :thumbsup: And those effects are always great my friend ;)
Hey Jacob wonderful update here and man the story is grand is always!!! I love the pics and the story is starting to make sense or least coming together now...
Chapter 3 is great there! And wonderful work on your pictures and as well on your story!! Also the pictures of these bridges are looking excellent! (- the rest, too!)
Looking forward to the 4th chapter... :)
Only three replies.... hmm....
Was sick all weekend and didn't get much writing in. Did however get a slight chance to play around with the new Photoshop CS4. Just to give everyone an idea of what goes into my pictures, and to tease you all, I'll release one of the billboards from the next update
Jacob
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PS: Character named after the first person who can guess the actual manufacturer of this car!
Quote from: porter66083 on November 16, 2008, 10:47:43 PM
Only three replies.... hmm....
Was sick all weekend and didn't get much writing in. Did however get a slight chance to play around with the new Photoshop CS4. Just to give everyone an idea of what goes into my pictures, and to tease you all, I'll release one of the billboards from the next update
Jacob
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PS: Character named after the first person who can guess the actual manufacturer of this car!
I believe that looks like the Honda CR-Z that debuted at the NAIAS in Detroit this year.
Jacob I cant wait!!! Im twitching for my fix lol.....
This is a very good story. I can't wait for more. I also love your pics. They r wonderful and keep up the good work. &apls &apls &apls &apls
OK. Just a quick blurb about why I haven't updated yet. Turns out that my being sick started to escalate into walking pneumonia. I'm now finally getting over it (have the nastiest tasting medication to prove it) and should be able to churn out chapter 4 today after class.
But never fear, another billboard is here.
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Jacob
I understand your situation. Walking pneumonia sucks. All you do is cough and cough and you don't get any of that junk out of your throat and then you have a nasty soar throat and the medicine is awful, like you said. I hope you get better and I am anticipating your new update. Get Better Soon. ;D
hey Jacob I soo understand that situation all to well about the health!!! I didnt go into details at ST but I know the meds been there doing it myself now yum yummies to my tummies NOT lol.... OK where is that update lol, I know when it gets here it will be grand and I will jump on it!!!!
Ok. So I think a quick little heads up is in order for everyone.
I am feeling better, now that I'm on my 3rd (yes, you read that right) round of antibiotics. Also, I've been preoccupied what with the holidays and finals as well, so I just haven't had time between being sick and school and work to get a chapter slammed out. Today though I will be trying to get something written out and then proofread so that I can get it up on here.
Other than that, all I have to say is that I am overwhelmingly surprised at the turn out on this last chapter!
Jacob
sorry to see youve been sick! Your have a wonderful journal here, the storys great and your images are very exciting to look at. I hope to see some more from you soon :)
Jacob,
Take your time and make sure you get better, which is the most important thing. There is no need to have added stress of trying to get an update with everything else that is going on. Like I said, take care of yourself and know that we will be here waiting for your update whenever you have the chance to do it :)
Jacob,
Glad to hear you are starting to feel better. It sounds like that thing got you pretty good for a bit, but from the sound of it, you're getting the upper hand. Great ads you've come up with here, and It'll be interesting to see how they tie into the story. Take your time and get well, we'll be here when the next part's ready.
-Matt
Hey jacob its OK I am on my second round of drugs and from the sounds its not working from my end aargh.... I outta go zombie lol :D its all your fault I swear lol... Anyways man take it easy and get lots of rest as I know I am!!!!
pat
I'm really sorry for missing so updates here &mmm
THis is perfect, your city is really fantastic. I love the effect in your pictures
Fantastic work :thumbsup:
OH THE JOYS OF NOT BEING SICK ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!
So, I'm finally over being sick and finally got a chance to get a chapter written out as well as the next chapter(s) planned out. So, I have some major news. But first.... replies....
Replies:
art128: Thanks! I kinda reworked the snowy effect.... hope it turned out ok!
Pat: Good! That's what I was hoping for!
bat: Thanks!
projectadam: Awesome job! I'll probably have a character for you in chapter 7!
Pat(2): Oh great.... now I'm your dealer! Lovely... :P
mmorales2: Thanks!
mmorales2(2): Yeah.... being sick really sucks!
Pat (3): LOL! Calm down.... its here.... mmmk?
flyinbird93: Thanks!
projectadam(2): yeah.... it just took a lot out of me! Thanks for the get well!
threestooges: OK...... I was wondering when you would drop in... :P
Pat(4): Thanks.... and thats it. You're getting a character in a chapter.... 4 comments between one update.... You deserve it!
Simpson: Yes.... you did :P Thanks for dropping by and catching up though!
OK! So I'm finally done with a months worth of replies! So I imagine you guys are glad to know I'm finally over the wonderful virus that wanted so badly to develope into walking pneumonia. Now that it, and my finals for fall, are over. I now have a little more free time on my hands. And guess what?
Chapter 5 will be the very end of the character intros.
Which means, that yes, voting will open after the end of chapter 5.
I'll post the rules for voting on it ra few days before chapter 5 so everyone can be acquainted with them. Fairly simple, but people could have trouble nonetheless.
Now that that bit of news is out of the way, I want to introduce another feature of the story.
People have asked before what I like to listen to, what inspires me, yada-yada-yada. So, I'm going to post the song I was inspired by when I wrote each chapter, with links to youtube, so you all can enjoy them. You can access the video by either clicking on the Chapter Header or clicking on the link below it. This will in leau of the CJ/MD shout out paragraph, since I just dont have the time to rave about all the wonderful ones I lurk in.
So.... without further ado....
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8) Angel- Sarah McLachlan LINK TO VIDEO (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CbAjj80NIM)
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Why did I do it back then, she wrote, scribbling her thoughts yet again in her jour nal. They should have meant the world to me! I could have gotten clean back then. Nothing is different than it was back then. God.... who am I kidding, everything is different. I was such a disaster back then. I was a junkie, a user, a prostitute and a terrible person to boot. It's probably a good thing I gave them up. Even if I could find them, they'd have every right to hate me.
Elsa Baum continued to scribble down her musings into the heavily-used book, tears slowly streaming down her face, occasionally putting her hand to her large round stomach and looking out the window to the dim snowy sky as morning soon approached.
It's hard to believe, that I've been lucky enough to get a second chance. I just wish there was some way to ... not that I deserve it... fix everything... she wrote at the end of the page, and taking a deep breath, closing the diary, wiping away the tears around her eyes.
Hearing a yawn, she turned to her husband standing in the door way, as he held out a cup of tea to her and he continued drink the coffee in his other hand.
"You alright?" he asked, concern filling the features of his face.
"Hormones. That's all it is," she laughed, her voice still quivering, "And I have you to blame for it, Doctor!"
Looking down, he watched as she pointed to her overly swollen stomach and let out a loud laugh.
"Are you really sure you HAVE to go in person to that meeting in Seattle?" she griped, taking the tea and holding it close to her chest. "You know that Zoe is not going to stop asking when Daddy is coming home."
"Dear, you know I can't. They are insisting I'm there to make sure that the entire hospital staff has proper training," her husband calmly replied, pulling her into a hug as her continued, "I mean, it's not like I'm going to be gone for more than two days. And I may not even be able to go if this snow doesn't stop."
Scowling, she sighed and began to walk out of the room and made her way towards the kitchen.
"Hi sweetie!" she called to her daughter, who was sitting at the table, eating her Fruit Loops and watching yet another cartoon with some blatantly feminine, neon yellow blob and his mentally handicapped, pink star shaped friend. "You all ready for school?"
Severely engrossed with the show, the little, pig-tailed girl smiled and nodded as she took another spoon full of the cereal into her mouth.
Turning back to her husband, she smiled warmly, watching him sneak another gift from his laptop bag under the already overflowing Christmas tree in the corner.
"And what, Tristan, are you putting under the tree now?" she said, crossing her arms and raising her eyebrows as she watched her husband jump at the sound of her voice.
"Nothing that concerns you," he replied, failing miserably to hide the fact the fact that he'd been caught in the act from his voice.
"Uh huh...." she replied, rolling her eyes as she grabbed her daughters backpack and jacket. "So I was thinking that I might go down the Central Plaza today and do a little more baby clothes shopping. And before you even say it," she continued, cutting her husband's complaints, "I will be just fine. The doctor said I'm not even due for another month and that I could go out and do things. You hover around me too much!"
"But..." he protested.
"But nothing! Conversation is over. I'm going shopping, and you're going to take Zoe to school," she countered, smirking at the man, and holding her hand up in the air, "And you better get going if you want to get her to school on time and make your flight."
Sitting down on the couch, she watched as he gathered up their daughter and helped her with her jacket. He leaned over her and gave her a quick peck on the cheek as she turned to say goodbye.
"I'll call you when I land. Love you..." he said, smiling at her several inches away from her face.
"Lies.... All lies I tell you..." she smirked as he turned, and lead the small girl out the door.
"Bye Mommy!" the young child called out, waving her arm in the air outside the apartment door.
"Bye sweetie! Mommy loves you!" she called out, smiling as the door was shut behind them.
Setting the now empty cup of tea on the coffee table in front of her, she sighed and slowly pushed herself off the couch, and made her way, or in her opinion waddled, back to the bedroom to get dressed for her shopping excursion.
After getting dressed and running a comb through her hair, she finally decided that she was as ready as she would be and walked out of the large apartment, locking the door behind her, and taking the elevator down the front entrance.
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"Well, looks like we're just in time for the bus!" she said out loud, her head looking down to her protruding belly, as she pulled the thick jacket closer to her body as the she began to shiver slightly against the cold morning air and stray bits of snow slowly falling.
She looked up as the large gleaming bus stopped in front of her, and grabbing on to the hand rail, pulled herself up, taking note that she'd probably be standing as every seat on the bus was full.
Walking towards the back, she smiled as a blonde young boy stood up and graciously gave her his seat. Taking a seat, she looked up and smiled yet again as she studied him.
One would be about the same age, she mused, looking at him. In fact, she thought to herself, probably a lot like the boy in front of her.Tall and lanky, hopefully as polite as the boy in front of her.
"Stop it," she muttered quietly to herself, not drawing any attention from the people around her. I can't think like that. I screwed up. I can't just go around and think that. I need to stop this!
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Looking in front of her, she noted that her stop would be coming up soon, as the large bus turned onto the aging metal bridge into the heart of the downtown area.
If only I hadn't. Things would probably be so much different. I wish I could make it up to them. If only I could find them. Looking up she noticed the kind boy that gave her his seat jump and begin to point out the front of the bus as he began to yell out something. Turning her attention to the front of the bus, she gasped as the bus jolted and blood spattered the front windshield, the glass cracking into a spider web.
She, as well as many others let out a small gasp as what had just happened began to be processed in their minds. Her stomach suddenly feeling light, she realized quickly that the bus was beginning to sway, its tires screeching. Looking back in front of her, she watched as the boy that gave up his seat went flying through the air, the back of his head slamming in the metal pole in front of him, sending blood flying across the cabin of the bus as a giant semi hit the other side of the bus. Watching as broken glass went flying everywhere, she felt her heart stop in her chest, listening to the groaning of metal and tinkling of glass as time moved slower and slower.
She reached out to the boy, barely catching his shirt as he slumped to the floor, blood drenching his back and her hands. Pulling him close to her, she held him tight as the bus finally toppled to its left side, throwing everyone in the bus around, much like a bunch of rag dolls.
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Squeezing her eyes shut, she thought her silent apology to herself as glass shattered around her, the metal body of the bus snapping loudly as if it were made of wood. She winced as the rain of glass made tiny cuts on her pale skin. Hugging the lithe blonde boy to her, she whispered those same thoughts out loud as the chaos ensued around her.
"I'm so sorry. Lukas, Sebastian, I wish I could have found you both and made everything up to you both. Tristan, Zoe, I wish I could have been with you both longer... I'm so sorry..."
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And last but not least....
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Wooow y love the efects my friend
Niiice city
what the devil Jacob wow!!! Intense chapter this time around hmmmm..... Talk about a twist a faith Lukas and Sebastian aint those the very two num nuts that caused the accident now unfolding??? OOOhh boy as Sam would always say lol
That's a great new chapter there! The pictures are really excellent! Fantastic effects added there! :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
very nice effects, reminds me on Gotham City somehow, and it reminds me how bad the weather is here in germany $%Grinno$%
Sorry for not replying sooner.
So it keeps on going? I wonder how all these people will be involved with one another after the accident?
Anyways, I have to admire your snowy shots there. Even though I live down in Texas the winter has been really...errr...wintery, this year? Even New Orleans got snow.
Jacob,
Well today I finally stumbled on your MD again.... I have missed the name change somehow. And because of that missed the chapters of your great story - I read it all today, and it touched me very deeply. The pictures shown in the MD are excellent and fit very well. Good job - I will be back to read how this continues....
Sebes
Very interesting developments Jacob. I'm curious to see what lies in store, but I have no doubt that you have something good planned. Nice effects with the pictures. It really adds to the mood of the moment. The pics on their own, without the photoshopping, seem to be pretty darn good too. Hope all is well.
Wow.... looks like I'm right now making monthly updates. Shameful of me. But, hey, those applications for schools aren't going to finish themselves and work doesn't just give me a free paycheck. This update was originally slated for the New Year's, but well, stuff happens.
The next chapter will be a major one. And I need everyone's help.
I will be opening up voting on the character tomorrow afternoon!
Before I post the update, replies:
kelis: Thanks! I think Photoshop may now officially own my soul. Damned Adobe.
Pat: Intense? Wait until you read the next chapter!
bat: Thanks! I try. I really really try.
urban: Yeah, kinda the effect I'm going for.
Zaphod: Oh, this is the last chapter of this section. it all comes full circle now.
sebes: Shameful! :P You haven't been fully dedicated to my story? That's it. No cookies for you until after this chapter. Bad sebes. Baaaaaaad... (Sneaks cookie)
threestooges: Ehhhhh, just work school and work. Oh, and sleep when available.
As some of you may notice, I'm using the name of Carmine Hilton (a user on ST) as one of the character's names. He won one of the two places in the "Guess the Car" contest. Projectadam will be added soon in a different update.
Ok. Now on to:
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"...Regenra can be known to cause low blood pressure, fever, vomiting, and serious skin reactions, along with bleeding issues at the site of injection. All medicines have benefits and risks, and there may be other options, so consult your doctor. Regenra: It's time to live to its fullest. NexGenics, A Tricell Company.
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What do you say to exceptional handling and first class safety features? To truly advanced technology and a rich interior design? What do you say to the lowest cost, and only fully electric car in its class? To winner of five different awards from JD Power? Say hello to the future. Introducing the new Quantum QX1000e. We're thinking at the speed of Quantum.
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Catch Governor Palin and Secretary of State Clinton face off at the third presidential debate, tonight during the continued coverage of Election 2012, here on CNN.
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...Welcome back to the news room here at CNN headquarters in Atlanta. Markets are opening high today with trends up in every market today as the communications sector sees yet another acquisition by Tricomm of the Windsor Park owned Interlink Communications. After FCC and government regulators gave the final approval to the Timbervale company, markets have continued their upward climb.
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Also making headlines, the technology sector has seen a boost with the merger as Tricomm has officially announced the release of the much anticipated Evo 2, produced in an unheard of venture between Apple and Samsung. Release of the phone is expected to be this week, after finalization of the two companies' merger.
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Also making headlines in the tech sector...."
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As Carmine turned his attention away from the small flat panel in the break room, he focused back on the tray in front of him, stirring the creamer into the coffee as his mind drifted back to the troubling conversation he had overheard his boss having to some man on the phone the evening before...
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"... Good. And so how did you set it up? Ah, good. You did after all come highly recommended. And did you set the car up exactly as I wanted? And it's in the correct spot?" Duceppe Gaston asked to the person on the phone, looking out the window, the ever present evil smirk on his face.
"Um sir, I have some, uh, papers from the CEO for you to sign if you aren't too terribly busy?" asked Carmine in a whisper, the fear of the man easily heard in his voice as he poked his head in the door.
"Hilton, you continue to prove your stupidity to me every chance you get, don't you?" Gaston snapped, turning his angry glare to the blonde, "If you ever interrupt me on a phone call ever again, you damn imbecile, I will personally see to it that you suffer for it. And trust me, I will MAKE you suffer. Am I clear? And where the hell is my lunch? I ordered it 5 minutes ago. How about you get off your lazy ass and do what I tell you?"
Knowing better than to reply, Carmine slipped back out the door, forgetting to completely close the door. Trying to calm down before he made his way to the cafeteria for the man's lunch, he stood still, breathing deep as Gaston's voice carried out the door.
"Oh, that was just the bumbling idiot that they hired to be my assistant. I'd fire him and replace him with some proper eye candy, but then I'd have the board on my case. So you can guarantee that it will be done exactly as planned then? Good. I'll send the other half as soon as I see the proof myself. I expect you to send me photo proof of it, understood? Goodbye then."
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Taking his coffee mug with him, he walked over to his desk, surprised to see that the desk across from his was empty of the young blonde that usually occupied it. Didn't Lukas usually arrive before him, he wondered as he sat down, logging into the computer in front of him and checking the mail that needed to be sorted as the sun slowly started to peek through the flurries of snow slowly covering the city.
Personally, he was slightly envious of the kid. The kid really was a looker, and it was slightly unfair that he got the nicer guy to work for.
Huh.... and for that matter, wasn't the company head supposed to be here as well? Carmine continued to wonder to himself, his attention turning to the small icon on his desktop flashing to notify him of an urgent memo.
Opening up the file, he scanned through it, his eyebrows rising as he realized what its contents said. Terrible loss of the CEO in a car wreck, deepest sympathy from the new interim head of the company? Merger expected to be rescheduled for this afternoon instead of this morning?
"What the hell? The merger isn't until this afternoon!" Carmine blurted out under his breath, bewilderment playing across his face, "That can't be right. Someone must be playing a joke. This is just nuts! Even the time code is wrong..."
The shock continued to set in as he finally looked at the letter head and signature on the memo. His attention turned to the muffled sounds coming from the office behind. Getting up, he turned and walked into the office behind him, startled to see that his boss was yelling into the phone with his back turned to him.
"I don't care. We had an agreement. I told you that I wanted that bastard Handover dead, not his little street ----- of an assistant. No. I don't care what you have to do; you are going to take care of the problem. You listen here, I don't care if you have to shoot him yourself, but you ARE going to make sure he is dead. Don't give me that crap; I'm not paying you for doing a half ----- job! Don't you call me back until it's done!" Gaston screamed, slamming the phone into its cradle.
Swallowing, Carmine slowly started backing out of the office, reaching for the door knob behind him as the man in front of him began speaking in a low voice.
"So, I guess you didn't get the hint when I told you to never interrupt me when I'm in a phone call. I swear, good help really is so hard to find." Gaston said, reaching out the table against the glass window in front of him.
"You're a monster. And I'm going to the cops with what I have." Carmine said out loud, his voice gaining an edge on the discovery of what the man in front of him was doing.
"Ah my dear, dear Carmine, you truly underestimate how much smarter I am than you. You really think I wouldn't have a plan on how to deal with any problem that arose?" Gaston said, giving a sickly smile as turned around, bringing his hands behind his back.
"You know what, you don't scare me. I know you're going to go to jail for a long time. And if I could give YOU a word of advice, don't drop the soap," Carmine retorted, his cheeks flushing as his voice quickly gained volume, turning to walk out of the room.
Hearing a loud clicking noise, Carmine froze as his mind quickly processed what made that sound.
"Well let me give you a word of advice too. As my father always told me, all is fair in corporate warfare..." the man said flatly, pointing the gun at the blonds' back, "Oh, and never, ever, turn your back on a man when he has a gun pointed at your back."
Gulping, Carmine could feel his face draining of its blood.
"You won't get away with this..." he began, as Gaston pulled the trigger, sending out a loud bang in the office. Sending blood across the carpeted floor, Carmine slumped to his knees in agony as the bullet ripped its way through him and out his chest.
Walking over to him, Gaston began to laugh as he bent down placed a second gun in Carmine's hand, as the blonde struggled to breathe, blood gurgling out of his chest.
"Oh yes I will..." he replied, as he kicked Carmine fully to the floor as he stood up before he continued, "In fact, I'm going to make sure you help with my alibi."
"And if you could do just one more thing for me before I terminate your employment? Give our former employer my regards..." he said, smiling as he emptied his clip into the back of his former assistant, dropping his cell phone into a puddle of the man's blood.
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Extras:
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Well. That's it! hope you all enjoy the voting tomorrow (today if you want to call it that)
Jacob
Fantastic new chapter there - as always!!! Great work on it!! :thumbsup:
Looking forward to more...
Fantastic new update my friend, your city is super :thumbsup:
Words aren't enough to describe just how great your pictures are...BTW, what happened to Obama 2012? :D
OK!!!! Voting is now open! Sorry for the wait, just been swamped with paperwork trying to get into a program at college for my career.
Anyways... your choices should be sent to me by PM.
Pretty simple. Remember, only choose someone on the list, which includes a small back story and a list of the injuries (for all you medical nerds out there like me).
Jacob
The List:
1) Lukas Overton- Shy teenager. Personal secretary to Brian Handover, CEO of Tricomm.
21 yr old Male: Abdominal impalement, shattered scapula and superior portion of humerus, femur, and right clavicle, severe concussion, perforated small intestine and liver, massive blood loss.
2) Andrew Grensing- Intern at Timbervale Hospital Downtown. Hit by bus why walking across street with sister.
26 yr old Male: Broken left and right femur, 3 broken ribs with outer perforation, collapsed lung, fractured left and right radius and ulna, fractured T1, T6, L1, L2, L4, bradycardia and hypotensive, massive bleeding of spleen, massive contusion of kidney.
3) Sebastian Overton- Brother of Lukas. Riding bus at time of accident.
16 yr old Male: Severe concussion to occipital region of head, broken tibia, fractured C1 and C2, swelling in C-spine region of spinal cord and brain stem.
4) Elsa Baum- wife of Dr. Tristan Baum. Gave up two children (Lukas and Sebastian) for adoption at age of 17. Currently pregnant.
38 yr old Female: Lacerations to face and hands, broken humerus, severe contusions to arms, back, and abdominal region. Fetal heart rate exhibiting bradycardia with signs of possible fibrillation.
5) Carmine Hilton (no relation :P)- Personal assistant to Duceppe Gaston, 'possible' suspect to planned assassination of Brian Handover.
31 yr old Male: 6 GSW to thoracic cavity, 9 GSW to abdominal cavity. Possible trauma to right ventricle chamber, collapsed left lung, perforated stomach, perforated small intestine, perforated bowel, massive truama to left kidney, superior part of liver and inferior pancreas.
:-[ Enjoy! :-[
EDIT: Removed inappropriate content. - Dustin (thundercrack83)
OK Jacob now I will say something hehehe.... Yes I was waiting in the weeds for the voting to give my voice on the charater selection.... But first the story wow!!! Pics OMG!!! PLOT holly ________________ fill in the blank ehheeheh...
Are we looking at Zombies again here? I was wondering cause of the Regenra add hehehee ;D you get the point ehh??? hmmm are you hopping for the Clinton Palin factor in 2012 by a chance ;) Nice CNN tidbit for the debate.....
ooooo a Gaston and Carmine conflict niiiice!!! WOW talk about if one didnt know Gaston, you would have instant hate for the Son of the Gun... OK So hmmmmm the plot then thickens with twist of the fact of GSW's wow!!!
Time stamps all wrong OMG Jacob you got me on the wire tonight!!!!!
OK so you see you gotten me on this chapter wow and my voting choice hmmmm,
see your PM shortly as I have to do a little study of which and who by far would be a good choice to let follow next if I am not mistaken right?
Ok. Two bits of news here. Nobody (2 people over 2 sites) has really sent their vote on the next arc. I need them if you want the next chapter to come out.
Which brings me to the other point. Looks like I'm going to have to redo the Timbervale region from scratch. For some reason, every time i try to open the region, I get a CTD. Even tried manually moving over cities to try and fix it, but looks like something happened the files. So it might be a little while before I post the next update (see: 1 month possibly).
Jacob
Quote from: porter66083 on January 17, 2009, 01:53:08 PM
Nobody (2 people over 2 sites) has really sent their vote on the next arc.
So it's either a tie or a clear winner :)
Come on guys and dolls: try to imagine who's stories you want to see continued and kill the other ;)
Story would have been nicer if I didn't die in it, but well... it's still fabulous!!
For the voting, I dunno if I can vote as I'm in it myself..?
OK. Finally got the new region set up for building. And I finished mapping out the city names. Also figured I'd get a little caught up on the replies here...
bat: Thanks! It took forever to finally perfect the fireworks in the pictures!
simpson: Thanks!
CraigKingOfIreland: Actually, that picture was made even before the elections were finished. I'm going to go with the Obama's wanting to have their kids out of the limelight.
Pat: Fill in the blank? Hmmmm... banana phone? Yeah, holy banana phone has a nice ring. Heh... ring ring ring... Maybe we're looking at zombies, maybe I'm just evilly plotting to have people look at that instead of other plots development. Who knows? :P
Sebes: Thank you for the shout out to people. And actually, now its up to 4 votes. And a four way tie. So I'm REALLY going to need more votes!
CarmineHilton: Yeah, you can vote. It's open voting for everyone.
OK! Now to the new improved region!
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I'm now off to the land of BATs and NAM'in.
Jacob
PS: Don't forget to vote people!
hey Jacob that map is looking fantastic!!!
Hey Jacob,
I can understand why you haven't recieved to many votes. Killing off a character with such a graphic description, most likely doesn't appeal to many, especially since this is a SC4 fansite. I can usually read your story and sometimes like it, but in my opinion your true talent is your city building style and your ability to photoshop is next to very few others.
Anyways, this is just my opinion....
I always love your pics, your uncanny photoshoping skills and the map does look great.. &apls
Robin :thumbsup:
PS, maybe the character that is suppose to die, doesn't..... ;)
Welcome to page 8!!
That map is great! Looking forward to more from it... ;)
Ok! The update is almost finished being written so I figured I'd add in a little Interlude between arcs to give you all a little taste of the next story arc.
So far the rebuilding of my region is going well... just slow with using growable vs plop.
Also, I have an important notice to everyone here on the site. Due to some complaints on my story, I will after this update no longer post my story on this site. I'd like to keep the story on here, but it's simply too much work to make two separate plots for different sites, as simply cutting out parts undermines the story. Now, this doesn't mean I won't post the pictures I make for the story, but the actual story itself, it will no longer be on this site and thus a link to the story will be provided. I have spoken with the admins at ST, and they have given me permission to have creative license, and thus I will be posting the full story on their site. If you have any questions, feel free to ask!
Now to replies:
Pat- Thanks!
rooker1- Um... thanks... I think....
bat- Thanks!
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"... Approximately 1.2 million are still without power as the severe winter storm that swept through the Central Plains region continues to make its way across the Northeast and Tennessee Valley areas. The storm has dumped as much as 3 feet of snow and up to 2 inches of ice in Maine and New York, and has so far accounted for nearly 27 deaths.
As for the weather here in the Timbervale Metropolitan area, the highs are expected to reach around 29 today, and we're still seeing a few isolated flurries across the city as the last of the storm makes its way through the region. We'll have your full forecast in 20. Let's now go to Jean with the traffic. Jean?
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Well, it's going to be slow going throughout the city today as the DOT finishes clearing the streets. As for accidents and congestion in the city, expect slow going on the I-627 Expressway as a non-injury 3 car pileup on the Murphy Bridge has traffic down to 1 lane going north, as well as some slow going in along US-81 as construction crews are working to repair a burst water main near the Federal Parkway. We'll make sure to keep you informed as other traffic issues develop. Back to you guys in the news room.
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We have breaking news coming in to the station as we go live to Marcy Lee on scene at a major accident downtown at Central Plaza and North Federal Parkway. Marcy, what can you tell us?
Well Katie, I'm here on scene where a massive 15 car pile has literally shut down the east downtown area. It looks like a Metrolink bus was also involved in the crash and is laying on its side, and the bus also appears to have hit a pedestrian while involved in the accident. And we've also gotten unconfirmed reports that Tricomm CEO Brian Handover was involved in the crash.
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We have here James Goldstein, an MBA here at the one of the buildings overlooking the scene, who witnessed the events. Mr. Gordon, what happened?
Well, can I give my boo a shout out? Hey Alexis, I love you for real girl! And a huge wassup out to my boys up in Aspen, C-Ooooo! You dogs be crazy up on them slopes! 970 fo' life! Wooh!
Um... ok... anyways sir, what was it that you witnessed?
Well, I was standing here waiting for a taxi and that real pimped out black car there ran the light, crossed the lane and hit that minivan there head on. It flipped in the air all crazy like and crashed into that blue car there. Then that red car got rear-ended by that green SUV, which almost hit a girl getting ready to cross the street. Then that bus there hit a guy, like wham yo, trying I think to like help out the people in the accident and s...
Sir, you can't say that on the air...
Aight.... Well anyways, then the bus got t-boned by that semi and I don't really remember what happened after that. I just got on my cell and called 911 and got some co-workers to come help those people there.
Marcy, are there any reports on how many people were injured from the accident?
Well, Gary, the police so far haven't given any official numbers, but on scene witnesses told us that there were anywhere from 35-49 people pulled from the bus wreckage and at least another 20 people from various vehicles. Police have shut down the Federal Parkway bridge and a 1 mile section of Riverside Avenue as they continue to clear the area, and are diverting traffic to the 15th St and Pine Road bridges. We'll try and get more information to you all in the news room as we get it. Back to you Katie.
Also breaking news in to the station are gunshots heard from the Tricomm building. We'll get you more information on it after a short commercial break..."
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Turning her attention away from the television, Rin Kazuki set her cup of coffee and bagel down as she looked back down to the cell phone as another message from her employer.
Picking up the phone, she pressed the accept button and read the message on the screen.
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Sighing, she tossed the phone back onto the table and resumed eating her breakfast.
"Doesn't he realize just who I am?" she mumbled to herself, grabbing a pen from the cup on the table and writing out her plan on the legal pad in front of her.
"You don't threaten a world class assassin, nor do you underestimate her. Oh, Rin make sure to take care of the little hiccup in the plan. Granted, it will take a couple of months of planning, but I will get it done. And as for the loose ends, I can take care of them as well. And, hell, I'll even slice Gaston in the end too, since he's been so rude."
"And for the cute blonde boy in the car," she continued musing to herself, "... he is going to be Rin's little bonus in the end. Such a fine specimen and Rin really does need a new toy to play with. She just don't know how I go through them so fast!"
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Extra (sorry, short update means one picture)
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Well its about time to get the update here Jacob lol ;) Naw I understand its all good and dang the story was too good too!!! I am sorry that the story wont be posted here anymore but hey if over @ ST you can do what you need it wont hurt me to read ;)
Nice work on another update there! Nice story! And great winter - pictures there!!! :thumbsup:
The snow pictures are great! Excellent work! &apls
Excellent work, but I didn't read the text, because I think I won't understand all! :D
He Jacob. Great new update :thumbsup:
I will be heading over to ST to read how your story continues....You know how I feel closely connected to your story and some of the characters in it, and I really think it's a pitty that the members of this will not be able to follow it here.
Update time!
Link to story and extra content: http://www.simtropolis.com/forum/messageview.cfm?catid=36&threadid=98392&STARTPAGE=6#1472081 (http://www.simtropolis.com/forum/messageview.cfm?catid=36&threadid=98392&STARTPAGE=6#1472081)
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REPLIES:
Pat: Yeah.... it's been a pain trying to get it rebuilt, but I would have had to rebuild the city anyways to put in the things I wanted...
bat: Thanks!
io_bg: Thanks!
Sciurus: No worries!
sebes: Thanks! Well, when complaints come up, I have to respect them.
Hi porter,
Advertising other sites is allowed here, as a part of your signature, but not as a part of a MD content ::) . If there is content which you dont want to show here at SC4D, dont do it, but dont post ads as substitutes for this content $%Grinno$% .
I have blocked this MD until you have the opportunity to contact me or another admin and we can totally clarify this situation ;)
Oh, Porter, c'mon. It's fine to link to your content at another fansite, but the blurred-out pics are just tacky. Last visit here for a while, that's for sure.
David